Kids Post Cancer Diagnosis?
October 15, 2012 9:45 PM Subscribe
Diagnosed 3 months ago with incurable (but treatable) lymphoma. Deciding on children - Has anyone decided to have kids post cancer diagnosis?
posted by inquisitrix to Human Relations (21 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I was told 3 months ago that I have Follicular Lymphoma, grade 1-2, stage 3. It's rare for someone my age, but it is indolent (slow growing) and treatable. I just finished 4 weeks treatment of a monoclonal antibody therapy and both masses have reduced by 65% already. It's the best possible outcome we could have hoped for.
The involved nodes are superficial - there's no organ, bone or marrow involvement and I am otherwise ridiculously healthy on paper as evidenced by all of the CT & PET scans, and MRIs, and every other diagnostic tool in the arsenel of my uber-thorough team of oncologists. The only reason they decided to treat instead of the customary watch & wait was due to swelling caused by the tumor position and growth in my left leg.
The point is, I am fully functional and unless I told you, you would never know that I have cancer. My husband and I both work full time and I have a side business that I love. We have lots of family and friends for support and excellent health insurance (thank god) so my quality of life is excellent. My doctors all agree that I am healthy enough that I will most likely die of something else. They think there is a very good chance of a cure being found in the next 10-15 years. We also understand the possibility that this cancer can eventually become more aggressive, but it might stay the same, too - there is no way to know what the future holds, and I refuse to live my life in fear. I could also be hit by a bus tomorrow so I am moving on with the plans I had before my diagnosis.
My husband and I have only been married a few years and were just about to start to try for kids. This turn of events was pretty cruel but using the antibody therapy rather than standard chemo enabled me to preserve my fertility. I can find plenty of women who were diagnosed during their pregnancy but I can't find anyone who has decided to go forward with having kids after their diagnosis. Obviously, I fully understand the reasons why someone would decide not to go forward with having kids after a cancer diagnosis. But my case is a wee bit different from most.
So, here is my question - has anyone had the experience of making the decision to have kids AFTER being diagnosed with cancer, curable or not? Can you share what influenced your decision whether or not you decided to have kids?