It's just a sweater... or is it?
October 7, 2012 3:18 AM Subscribe
3 months of dating and haven't determined the relationship yet. Is it too soon to give him a $40 gift?
posted by E3 to human relations (19 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I'm not very familiar with dating relationships. I'm in my late twenties and I've had only one serious 4-year relationship that ended a year and a half ago. My question comes from a naivete of social appropriateness and a desire to be selfless without going overboard.
About 3 months ago I started dating a guy and we've been mutually exclusive (as far as I can tell). We haven't determined the status of the relationship yet since we're still getting to know each other, but we get together about once a week for dinner or a movie or just beers on the couch and I usually spend the night at his house (I have cats he's allergic to and also a roommate).
Last night while waiting for our dinner reservation, we took an impromptu shopping trip and he asked me to help pick out clothes I think would look good on him. We didn't buy anything, but I got to know his tastes and we had fun trying things on. Today I bought him a quality sweater that I know he will like that was marked down to $40 and want to give it to him as a gift next time I see him.
I'm an introvert and not very good at verbalizing my interest and growing attachment. The closest we've come is characteristics we like about each other and I've told him I would like to continue seeing him. He continues to show interest in getting to know me through conversation and has paid for all our dates, sparing no expense. My hope is that he might recognize this gift as a return of affection.
However, I'm very nervous. He knows I'm on a tight budget and considering we haven't determined our relationship, there's a chance he's still feeling us out and may not want to continue dating, therefore a gift like this could be overkill. This is not a "strings-attached" gift, but at this early stage I'm worried he might see it as that. We're not a perfect match (he's 7 years older and a little more active and established in life), but we seem to like each other, are getting to know each other, and I want to see where this could go.
Would the gift be appropriate? Would it be better to hold off and have a serious conversation first? Or should I just go for it?
(Btw, this is my first question on the green and I hope I'm succinct yet to the point--any input is welcome and appreciated!)