Help me be a morning person! Or at least a waking-up-like-a-goddamn-adult person!
I hate mornings. Not necessarily because there is something bad about that time of day, I'm just really, really awful at getting out of bed. It has always been this way, from crying down the stairs to kindergarten, to being constantly late for school, to, nowadays, showing up to work at 9 A.M. on the dot. This has been going on as long as I remember, so there's nothing remotely recent that is causing it. I eat probably too little, but it was the same when I ate too much. I have a vitamin regimen overseen by my doctor, who is a good doctor. I am mentally balanced and physically healthy (if out of shape.) I do not have sleep apnea.
I get up at, say, 8:10 (after hitting snooze for about an hour and a half,) brush my teeth and take my vitamins, stumble into my clothing, kiss my girlfriend, pet the dog, and I'm out the door by 8:25. I skip breakfast -- how are people hungry before 11 A.M.? -- which is bad because I need to gain
weight. I have a fast metabolism and we're doing the no-simple-carb thing. The diet keeps my chronic stomach issues at bay but also makes it difficult for me to keep on weight.
So, help me, MeFites! If "suck it up and get your ass out of bed" worked, I wouldn't be asking this. I know there's general things like "give yourself something to look forward to in the morning!" but I'm not sure how to do that: I hate, hate, hate mornings and things associated with mornings (washing up! eggs and coffee!) I am confused and lethargic and not "awake" until maybe halfway through my commute. I would like to not be a grouchy son of a bitch for an hour a day, every day, especially considering I can be spending the mornings having quality time with girlfriend and dog.
I feel like I'm doing all the appropriate sleep-hygiene things:
- I go to sleep and wake up at (roughly) the same time every day
- I get about eight hours of sleep a night
- I wind down exciting activities well before I go to bed
- I try not to eat past 9 P.M. (with varying degrees success)
- I hardly ever drink caffeinated drinks (doctor's orders,) and don't drink them past late afternoon when I do.
- I take melatonin before going to bed.
NB: Showering in the morning is out of the questions for reason I'm not even going to try to get into. Exercise is ... on the table. I really need to exercise. I know. Moving the alarm clock out of reach means I just sleep through the alarm clock.