Dealing with unwanted guest
October 2, 2012 9:27 PM Subscribe
How do I deal with an unwanted guest/"unofficial roommate" living on our couch? Asking this as a strictly interpersonal relations question.
posted by windbox to Human Relations (34 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My roommates - who I get along with fine but am by no means friends with them - appear to be allowing a buddy who is mutually friends with all of them to crash in our living room for an indefinite amount of time. He was desperate for a place to stay and has nowhere else to go, so at first I was empathetic and am always glad to help someone get on their feet, but it has now been a month and it is starting to grate on me.
He has a part-time job, but gets home before me, so he is already settled in his "living space" (our common area) playing video games and whatnot by the time I get home. He's a nice guy, but it still sort of sucks not having a common space to eat/watch TV in because someone is sleeping or watching movies etc. It also sucks because I signed up to live in a house with 3 other people and not 4 so it feels crowded, though I am month to month and not on any official lease so it's not like I can go complain to a landlord (who appears to be non-existent - yes this is a shitty and slum-like living situation).
The main issue: I made the mistake of voicing my concerns/frustration to one of the roommates about their friend's situation here - Does he have any plans to move out? Does he plan on paying a rent any time soon? - as well as some of my frustrations about living in a slightly more crowded house. I may have also made the mistake of not vocalizing these concerns/frustrations in a super graceful manner. They apologized and said they'll "talk to him about it", and I guess they did because now couch guy won't even acknowledge me or speak to me when I come home or go get a glass of water in the kitchen. It makes living here slightly more hostile and it sucks to have to hole up in my bedroom immediately upon coming home.
What is the most tactful way to handle this? I wish I could tell him, "Hi, I'm going to eat and watch TV now because I live and pay rent here" while he is napping or gaming or generally hogging the common area, but it's not like he can retreat to some other room in the house - he'd have to just sit there while we resent each other.
I am already looking to move out. If your advice was going to be "move out asap" please save yourself the keystrokes. Hell yes I am looking to move out (the house is a mess in all sorts of other ways) - but what the hell do I do until then? Other than maximizing time spent outside the house, and being confined to the bedroom while at home - how would you carry yourself in this situation?