Mom wanted me to be an astronaut, I wanted to be a diver.
September 29, 2012 7:17 AM Subscribe
I didn't choose the degree I am doing right now. It was my mom's wish... but I didn't realize at the time! If this happened to you... how did you cope? How did you take the best out of it?
posted by anonymous to grab bag (13 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My grandfather is a word lover. It was obvious for him he would be a writer and a Latin and Greek teacher. But he was a Jew in Europe in the forties… So he chose to study something that would be useful anywhere in the world… He ended up by being a renowned doctor, spending his scarce free time reading verses.
On the opposite, his son, my father, knew at five years old he wanted to work for such company. At twenty-four, the day after his graduation he applied for said company. He now enjoys a very interesting position in said company and will happily retire in five years time.
As for me, I am one year from graduating. And I am slowly starting to realize I never chose to study what I am studying (I'm in a creative field). My mom has always been very talented at drawing, but her parents prevented her from transforming her hobby into a job. She pushed me hard into the school where I am right now because she, she couldn't enter it. Realizing this helps me understand a lot about my attitude towards my school. I've never felt at ease here, always feeling I wasn't totally allowed to be here, that it wasn't my place. It maybe also explains my having a hard time to knit meaningful relationships here.
Now what? I'm angry, I'm lost.
Even with the two very different examples I gave you above, I have a hard time drawing a conclusion about what I should do now.
I guess saying fuck and throwing everything away and start from scratch isn't the best idea (or is it? is it?)
Do I… transform what was my mom's fantasy into my own wish? How do I… appropriate the "choice" that wasn't mine first? How do I make it mine?
If this happened to you, could you please give me your input? (whether it was about your education or your job or your... whatever).
Thank you in advance!
On a side note : I am twenty five, the school where I am is pretty selective (but tuition free / in Europe), so it isn't only my mom's wish, I had to pass a written and oral test -without mom!