They are interested. Why don't they respond?
September 28, 2012 11:12 AM Subscribe
Someone "chose" me (rated 4 or 5 stars) on OKCupid. What should be my next move?
posted by 3FLryan to Human Relations (26 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a relatively experienced OKCupid user. I've been on it for a while now, and have exchanged plenty of messages - some resulting in dates, some not, with the dates never turning into a relationship. I'm pretty good with "first messages" (e.g. saying something interesting and different in a first contact message that may pique the other person's interest and get a response).
However, I'm not sure what to do after someone "chooses" me - rates me as 4 or 5 stars. I always just look at their profile, and if I like it, send the same sort of "first contact" message I would send as if I didn't know they "chose" me (i.e. I do not say anything like "Hey, saw you "chose" me! I like you too! Haha!).
My thought is that it should be EASIER to get someone to respond after they "choose" you, since it shows they are already interested in you, but I don't think anyone has ever responded to my message after they "chose" me. Weird!
So, this girl with a really awesome profile just "chose" me. What should I do?? "Choose" her back? Reference the choosing in a message?
(Side question: Why do people "choose" people? Why not just message them? Maybe answering this question is key to answering the first question...)