How to use the verb"want"?

September 24, 2012 8:41 AM

I'm learning English.I can understand the sentence,"I don't want you to have a relationship with her." But I can't get these sentences grammatically. 1)He didn't want me near you. 2) He wants you around. 3)I don't want it back. Is 1) a shortened form of "He didn't want me to be near you"?How about 2) and 3)?
posted by mizukko to writing & language (17 answers total)

1. "He didn't want me near you" could mean "He didn't want me to be near you," yes.

2. He wants you around = "He would like you to be close by," or "He wants you to be in his life"

3. "I don't want it back" means, "I do not wish that (item, relationship, object) to be returned to me."
posted by xingcat at 8:44 AM on September 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

1/ He didn't want me (to be) near you

2/ He wants you (to be) around (him)

3/ I don't want you (to give) it back

You'll notice a trend with infinitives here. I have no explanation. I'm sorry English is such a pig (to learn).
posted by DarlingBri at 8:44 AM on September 24, 2012 [2 favorites]

1. yes
2 could be rewritten as "He wants you to be around"
posted by reptile at 8:44 AM on September 24, 2012

1. "He didn't want me near you" means the same thing as "He didn't want me to be near you." Grammatically, it's the same as "He didn't want me behind you" or "He didn't want me in front of you" -- "near" is a preposition.

2. "He wants you around" is pretty similar; it means "He wants you to be around him."

3. "I don't want it back" would usually mean "I don't want you to give it back to me."
posted by jaguar at 8:45 AM on September 24, 2012

In 1), you are right - the 'to be' is taken out but it doesn't change the meaning.

For 2) and 3), it is similar.

2) He wants you (to be) around

3) I don't want it (to be) back - a more grammatically appropriate version of this sentence would be "I don't want it to be returned to me" or "I don't want it to come back".

If you are intending to refer to a person in #3, you would say "I don't want her back" or "I don't want him back", which is short for "I don't want him or her back in my life".
posted by amicamentis at 8:46 AM on September 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

I would make 3) more general: "I don't want it (given) back (to me.)
posted by needs more cowbell at 8:47 AM on September 24, 2012

(1) Yes, the "to be" can be omitted and implied when referring to states of being, when not used with another infinitive:

Compare:
--I want you dead (meaning "I want you to be dead")
--I want to see you dead (here the use of another verb disposes of the need for "to be," implied or otherwise)

(2) is the same thing. "He want's you to be around." Again, a more figurative choice of words dispenses with the implied 'to be:' "he wants you to stick around."

(4) is perhaps less obvious. You figure it out the same way:
"I don't want it to (be) back (in my possession)"

but most native speakers would probably expand it to:
"I don't want it (given) back (to me)."

The implied meaning here is helped out a bit by leaning on the use of "it" for inanimate objects.
posted by snuffleupagus at 8:49 AM on September 24, 2012

Another way to think about these is that phrases like "I want" or "I would like" can be used as substitutes for the imperative (command form).

So when it wouldn't be appropriate to issue an order, such as:

BE HERE AT 9 AM TOMORROW

someone might say "I would like you back by nine."
posted by snuffleupagus at 8:54 AM on September 24, 2012

I think people are not emphasizing the somewhat idiomatic interpersonal element here.

1) "He didn't want me (to be) near you," connotes something along the lines of "He objected very strongly to our (potential) relationship, so he did not want us even to be near each other." As in, "My boyfriend knows I think you're cute, and so he didn't want me near you at the party." It can be meant literally ("He knows I have the flu, so he didn't want me near you and get you sick), but it's usually more figurative.

2) "He wants you around" connotes "He wants you in his life" (as xingcat said). It doesn't just mean "he wants you to be nearby" (like "You're carrying his camera, so he wants you nearby in case there's an interesting bird he wants to take a picture of.")

3) "I don't want it back" is pretty straightforward: "I don't want (you to give) it back."
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:56 AM on September 24, 2012 [2 favorites]

Grammatically, these are often referred to as elliptical constructions, where one phrase (usually the verbal, and often the copular - "to be" - verb) is omitted because it is clearly implied by context. Check some of your english learning resources for "ellipsis," but be aware that this term also refers to the three stops (...) that signal the omission of words, which is related but not the same.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 9:03 AM on September 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

While I understand the desire to have explanations like this—they can help cement an expression in one's memory—it's important to keep in mind that there needn't be any such explanation; idioms are often grammatically isolated and cannot be explained in any other way than "that's just how people say it," though if you ask people, they will be glad to make up an explanation. Which brings up another point: don't trust the explanations people (other than linguists) give you: people are very bad analysts of their own language.

> "I don't want it back" is pretty straightforward: "I don't want (you to give) it back."

No, that is not an accurate expansion. "I don't want you to give it back" sounds harsh and impolite; "I don't want it back" is simply a statement that it needn't be returned. That's an example of the kind of distortion that can be introduced by attempts to provide grammatical explanations off the top of one's head.
posted by languagehat at 12:50 PM on September 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

Depending on the context, "he wants you around" could mean somewhat different things. It does not always mean "he wants you in his life" (a general social state that could range from friendship to romance, etc.)

For example:
"We have an important visitor coming to the office tomorrow. The boss wants you around in case he has questions about your programs."

This means the boss wants to be sure you are present in the office and available to answer questions during the visitor's visit. In this example, being "around" refers to being at a fairly specific time and place (being in the office tomorrow), although not as specific as an individual appointment or meeting. "Being around" here also suggests the general state of being available to answer questions.
posted by LobsterMitten at 12:58 PM on September 24, 2012

1. is ambiguous and could mean different things depending on the context so it is not commonly used in US written English. It could mean "He didn't want me to be near you" but another implied meaning is "when he was near you, he didn't want me"

Warning, I was trained in poetry. This is the kind of sentence we would use because of its ambiguous meaning, but others might not automatically see the ambiguity.
posted by the young rope-rider at 1:25 PM on September 24, 2012

Just in case this isn't clear: in a formal context, "around" is usually literal, meaning "on every side of".

But in casual, colloquial speech, you can use "around" in a multitude of ways. It works for almost any variation of "near", "present", or "available", up to and including "alive", as in "My grandma, who isn't around any more".

Another casual use of "around" is "approximately", especially with reference to time ("At around two o'clock I heard the gunshots") or quantity ("Around thirty people showed up for the party").
posted by tangerine at 1:28 PM on September 24, 2012

Some people say about 3), "I don't want( you)( to give) it back."Yes,I understand it.
Well,how about " I don't want it given back to me."?Is it "I don't want it( to be) given back to me."??
posted by mizukko at 8:11 PM on September 24, 2012

Yes.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:33 PM on September 24, 2012

To follow up with what tangerine said - "Around" and "Near" are both locations (I am around the corner from the store, or the store is near my house), but they also have emotional implications. Someone can be "close" or "distant" emotionally. The subtext of 1 is more than just being physically a short distance from someone, it is that they did not want the two people to become emotionally attached. 2 is more ... subjective. When someone is "around," not only are they present often, but they are involved in your life. Two people can live in the same house, and not be close to each other - on the other hand, when someone you love is away for a long period of time (physically), you might miss having them "around" as an emotional response, as well as a physical / practical one.
posted by GJSchaller at 9:13 AM on September 25, 2012