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September 23, 2012 5:33 AM Subscribe
Why do I keep attracting alcoholics?
posted by peacrow to human relations (21 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I have had the same scenario play out twice, about three years ago and then again, about 9-10 months ago: new roommate and new boyfriend enter my life around the same time. Both roommate and boyfriend turn out to be alcoholics. Drama, broken trust and heartache (for me) ensues, with both the boyfriends and the roommates.
I've effectively solved the roommate issue by getting my own apartment, but it seems the guy I had date #3 with last night is quite a boozer. We went to dinner and he suggested we stop by a party at his friend's house for a drink, where he proceeded to get plastered in short order. I called a cab and went home. There will not be date #4. I may be overreacting re: alcohol, but at the very least, his behavior was totally inappropriate.
I am not the child of an alcoholic; in fact, my parents were teetotalers most of my childhood, and both of my parents and both of my siblings have attitudes toward alcohol that I would consider to be cautious-to-healthy.
I am not an alcoholic. I enjoy alcohol and even getting drunk once in a blue moon, but having been up close and personal with several alcoholics, I do not have the urge or dependency on alcohol that they do, of that I'm certain. Alcohol can be in my apartment for weeks without giving it a second thought, I can have 1-2 drinks and think nothing of stopping at that point.
I don't think I have a co-dependent personality. (I slogged through "Codependent No More" after a breakup several years ago; didn't apply to me at all.) Despite this, I feel like I'm attracting them in some way, because this seems to be a pattern.
I am wondering if there are personality traits or broad characteristics that alcoholics are drawn to? Or is alcoholism just more prevalent in this age group (mid-twenties to early thirties) than I realized? Are there any tell-tale signs of an alcoholic one can seize upon early, when meeting someone for the first or second time? Basically, AskMe, help me wise up in terms of spotting an alcoholic!