I thought we would talk, but not call it off.
September 20, 2012 6:55 AM Subscribe
How to deal with the end of a 20 year friendship?
posted by Kitteh to human relations (38 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Someone I considered my best friend for years--we'd known each other since I was 15--became the sort of negative person I never thought he would be.
This is someone who was there for me during good times and bad, who came to my wedding, who always kept up with my family and was concerned for their well-being. But in the last few years, he went back to school for some reason (he has a film degree from his 20s but never did much with it) and his FB feed is clogged with talking about how nothing is as good as it was when he was younger, how he is smarter than the kids in his class, how he is smarter than his professor, mythologizing Nixon and the Cold War, and generally shutting down anyone who dares to contradict him in anything..
Whatever. He's my friend. I ignore most of it and only chime in when it's relevant or if I have something decent to add to the conversation.
But today he started making fun of me when I was "speaking French" in regards to someone else's status and I had just had enough. This isn't the first time he's done that to me--"You think you're so much better than me because you moved to Canada and now you speak French"--but for once, I was just tired. I emailed him with my concerns about our friendship and was promptly rewarded with a friend deletion and apparently a round of status updates that called me "a bitch."
This does hurt. I would never call someone names, I would rather talk it out, but what do I do?
Should I try and salvage this friendship or should I just let it go, wish him well, and move on?
I realize this is probably the dumbest situation one can have at the moment, but some advice would be nice.