my girlfriend seems distant. i need a womans advice
September 20, 2012 6:13 AM Subscribe
How can i save my relationship with my girlfriend? We have been seeing each other for exactly one year. We are grown, she in her 30s me in my 40s. she has a young child and my kid is in college. Since we started dating its been pretty fun and loving sometimes hard also.
posted by tlrjr to human relations (18 answers total)
She has been busy from the start being a mom and finishing school to start an new career and its been hard to see each other at times also she still shares a house with her ex hub so its not like I can go and hang out with her at her house. So she always comes to my place stays late etc. Last month she started her first job in her new career which makes it so much closer for her and the ex to NOT share a house and will allow her to have me over more.
So now she just half way pulled back says shes run ragged, Says she feels guilty because she cant offer me the time she believes I deserve, she tells me because I have so much more free time that its not fair to me and that she doesn't really want to end our relationship. The last few weeks have been hard and we have both ticked each other off a few times and now shes really pulled back. She has initiated daily contact with me since the start via text or call and now since I made a crappy comment to her about her living situation she's pulled way back.. She will immediately respond to my text if I initiate or if I say lets talk she will call. I sensed this a few weeks ago and she said nothings wrong and shes just busy and tired and She is LOYAL to me. Last month (August) may have been the best month we have had together, we had a few nice family dates with her child (which I always play catch or something with I treat her child as my own) and our last intimacy may have been the most intense sexual experience to day. Now this month she is all about making me weigh the realities of her busyness VS. my freedom of time... What am I to think? does she need reassurance of my love and loyalty? We have never been the couple to toss out the I love you's, we both act tough in this relationship. I have been really great to her and she recognizes it and says Im a great man, but Ive never just said "im in love with you" does she need to hear this? or does she want me to break it off? Is she trying to sabotage this out of some type of noble idea that she cant give me what she thinks I deserve? Not long ago she said she has a good gig with me and is content.... Im all sorts messed up.... I dont want to lose this woman...