Feeling a little self-conscious about my current hairstyle (male). Should I keep it this way or try something else out?

September 18, 2012 2:57 PM

Feeling a little self-conscious about my current hairstyle (male). Should I keep it this way or try something else out?

I've had my hair longish bieber style and bleach blonde for the last 6 years. One day I decided to completely shave it all off and regrow it for the following reasons:

1. I started a new job and wanted to be taken seriously

2. the blonde hair was pretty damaged even though i always got it professionally done - it took way too much time to get it looking halfway decent

3. I wanted a change.

Once my friends saw me with the new haircut... well almost no one has said they like it. And several people have commented that its not a good look for me. I have been sort of not sure how to take this. I'm partly thinking I have a big for-head and should get long hair again to cover it :/. Maybe they just need more time to adjust.

Pictures (the short one is the most current):
http://imgur.com/a/V6hkA/embed

Should I keep this? style it different? any particular celebrity haircut styles you could link me to that could work for me?

posted by audio to human relations (37 answers total)

I disagree with your friends. I strongly prefer your new hairstyle to the old, bleach blonde one. Plus it looks much easier to manage.

Maybe I'm showing my age (32), but Bieber-esque styles look cheesy and immature to me. I vote for keep!
posted by lalex at 3:02 PM on September 18, 2012 [23 favorites]

Looks fine -- it's a conservative haircut, and if fitting in at your new job is a major concern it can't hurt.
posted by mr. digits at 3:02 PM on September 18, 2012

The one on the left is the most that I would be most apt to hire. I think it is fine.
posted by Tanizaki at 3:02 PM on September 18, 2012

You look fine.

People don't like change. You rocked the boat of what people thought was 'normal'. This will soon become the new normal.

It will pass.
posted by royalsong at 3:05 PM on September 18, 2012 [14 favorites]

I think the new haircut suits you.
posted by pink_gorilla at 3:06 PM on September 18, 2012 [4 favorites]

Short comes off as older and more traditionally/conservatively masculine.
posted by vegartanipla at 3:07 PM on September 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

I started a new job and wanted to be taken seriously

And it is perfect for that. Plus, it genuinely looks good + suits you well.
posted by heyjude at 3:07 PM on September 18, 2012 [9 favorites]

New cut looks great. Ignore your friends.

(Also, when it comes to professional dress and looks, avoid anything that uses "Bieber" in the name or description.)
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 3:08 PM on September 18, 2012 [6 favorites]

Yeah, the bieber cut is...just...not the way to go, especially if you want to be taken seriously, like you say. Who cares what your friends think? Your new cut looks great and definitely more grown-up. The old style looks '14 year old female', the new cut says '20 year old male'. I know that's being incredibly hetero/gender normative, but just callin' it like I see it, which is just one person's opinion.


And what royalsong said.
posted by greta simone at 3:08 PM on September 18, 2012 [3 favorites]

You're a nice looking guy and your forehead is normal, too. There's nothing you need to hide or deflect attention from.

The main difference, other than looking more mature with the newer style, is that the blond style was a LOOK, while the current hair is a little more generic. That may be what your friends are responding to. They had you in a category and you switched it up. The Bieber thing has run its course -- smart of you to move on.

I really like the current hair.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 3:08 PM on September 18, 2012 [5 favorites]

You've got a great face, don't worry so much about your hair!
posted by humph at 3:09 PM on September 18, 2012 [4 favorites]

Stick with it for at least a few weeks before you decide whether or not you like it. It's a big change, and it's going to feel weird for a while. But if you do decide that you don't like it, there are a huge number of options beyond "teenybopper celebrity" and what you have now. I definitely, definitely would not go back to what you had before if you want to be taken seriously as an adult.

I really like the new haircut, but it doesn't matter what I think or what your friends think nearly as much as it matters what you think. Take some time to get used to it, then decide if you want to keep it, or if you'd rather pick a different (but still adult, somewhat conservative, not teenage boy surfer dude) hairstyle to try out next. The great thing about hair is that it keeps growing, so you can experiment with it, and if you hate it, you don't have to wait long to change it up.
posted by decathecting at 3:12 PM on September 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

You're a really good looking guy. I also think the hair cut looks fine but there's a lot of range in between what you have now and that Bieber cut. You could still grow your hair out a little bit and still look professional. Personally, if I were you, I'd grow it out just a tad and color it a shade or two darker (but that's just me). Part of being taken seriously is also about how you dress, and that Abercrombie tshirt is doing you no favors.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:16 PM on September 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

When I changed from a longer hairstyle to a short one, I had a few surprised comments and few compliments. This was the opposite at work. One thing I found was that I had to try a few things with the style and eventually preferred just a bit longer than my initial effort, but a far cry from the locks I had before. Tinker around with the style. Let yourself grow out an inch or two to decide if just a little more hair works best for you while still having it reasonably short.

New looks take a little time to refine. You also might want to note that shorter hair works better with dressier outfits. Dress shirts absolutely beat out T-shirts when you go for a more "adult" look, even when you're just hanging around casually.
posted by Saydur at 3:19 PM on September 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hey kid!
Hello there young man.

Reason #1 is total Mission Accomplished.
posted by carsonb at 3:27 PM on September 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

what a cutie you are! but definitely, yes, your new short cut makes you look more mature. if anything, i'd maybe suggest you grow it a leeeetle but longer up top and run your fingers with a little product through it, but that's it. or if you are still uncomfortable with how short it is, grow it out a bit longer all around and run a little bit of product through with your fingers for something a little bit shaggier, a little deliberately messy. you're young still; don't go all generic yet!

you're older 'do, i was just mainly focused on your hair. maybe it's all that blond too, but i'm just naturally more drawn to guys with darker hair.
posted by violetk at 3:35 PM on September 18, 2012

You look handsome in both hairstyles. I think the old hairstyle is more of a distinct "look" and maybe the loss of that is some of what your friends are reacting to. With the old hairstyle I'd expect to find you in the skatepark or Hot Topic. The new hairstyle lets you blend in a lot more grownup places.
posted by MsMolly at 3:39 PM on September 18, 2012

You don't look like a punk kid anymore.

Congratulations!
posted by oceanjesse at 3:43 PM on September 18, 2012

The short cut is a great change for you, and it also makes you look much closer to your real age.

This won't be the last hairstyle you ever have, but it's a nice way to wipe the slate clean and try something new. I agree that the next time you get it cut, try a variation like a little longer on top and a little shorter on the sides. That should still be flattering and very low maintenance. If you still want to play with colour after that, go for it, but try one tweak at a time for now.
posted by maudlin at 3:49 PM on September 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hey, you don't mention your age, though you've had your original haircut for 6 years or so, which I guess must mean you're - what? - 17 minimum.

As everyone's said, you're a very good-looking young man, and your new haircut shows this off a lot more.

Your old style looked cute but corny as hell. Too eager and passive and mild. I understand that it's nice to shelter under that stuff, but it makes you look insecure and a little boring. It would've been perfect for high school, where these kind of things are always in demand, but after that you've gotta get sharper.

The new cut's much tougher and gives you room to experiment in the future with something that's more individual.

There's just no question you've done the right thing.
posted by cincinnatus c at 4:09 PM on September 18, 2012

No way -- you are crazy attractive with your new haircut. Your friends must be jealous.

Sheesh, you're cute.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 4:12 PM on September 18, 2012

I have a big forehead too! BIG FOREHEAD HI FIVE.

Anyway, you don't always have to cover it, but sometimes a little height balances it out or some bangs...not a necessity, though.

You look great with your hair how it is and people will get used to it.
posted by the young rope-rider at 4:17 PM on September 18, 2012

Looks more job friendly than the other one. The previous one made you look a little more independent, with this you fit into the crowd.
posted by pakora1 at 4:54 PM on September 18, 2012

You look adorable either way, but the new hair is pretty hot. You and your friends will eventually get used to the new hotness.
posted by avidreader at 5:00 PM on September 18, 2012

24 is about when you would start changing like this or else becoming someone who will always look the old way. You're still allowed to swear and drink.
posted by rhizome at 5:02 PM on September 18, 2012

The new cut looks good. Better than the old one. You're a good-looking guy and you've got a young face which will stand you in good stead ten or twenty years from now but right now you don't need to be wearing a haircut that makes you look younger, which is what the old one was doing.
posted by Scientist at 5:13 PM on September 18, 2012

It's hard to say how much length the top has now, but you could continue to grow it out slightly and play with it without going full on Bieber like before. Basically long bangs and sides are going to read too young, but a little bit of length/volume on just the top but not enough to fall in your face, properly styled, coud still be fun AND professional.

You're totally fine right now, and there is space to explore in between your old cut and new cut if you want to let it grow a little.
posted by slow graffiti at 5:59 PM on September 18, 2012

The new cut looks very good! Even Bieber has stopped brushing all his hair to the front.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:10 PM on September 18, 2012

The Bieber cut is about three seconds away from looking dated. Don't go back to that. If you want something that's less of a "normal" cut and is trendy right now, grow your hair out a bit and do the long-on-top-short-sides thing (I guess it's called the quiff?)

note: I like "normal" cuts. But I am also 31, so yeah.
posted by mcmile at 6:29 PM on September 18, 2012

I think the new hair cut suits you much better, but even growing it out a bit more wouldn't hurt either. It does make you look older and more mature if that's the 'look' that you're going for.

You have a handsome face, don't hide it behind a fringe!
posted by liquorice at 6:34 PM on September 18, 2012

wanted to be taken seriously

The new haircut and going back to your natural hair color are good steps in that direction. Agree that you could be a little more adventurous in terms of spiking it a bit with some product, but the old haircut made you look not only like Bieber, but the same age as Bieber. This is not ideal for being "taken seriously" in a professional context.

You made the right choice. I have no idea what your friends are missing about the old hairstyle; maybe they're just resistant to change? Or maybe they think you're selling out to The Man? I don't know, but do what works best for you.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:13 PM on September 18, 2012

Plus 1 for the new hair cut. It looks sooooo much better.
posted by SLC Mom at 8:35 PM on September 18, 2012

OMG. Do not go back to the Bieber cut. Your friends are morons, or jealous.
posted by town of cats at 8:40 PM on September 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

This isn't a close decision, keep the new cut.
posted by grudgebgon at 4:52 AM on September 19, 2012

Yes, you look good with either. I can understand your friends' feelings on the matter-- I like the longer hair, but then again, I'm a 32-year-old who still dyes her hair purple and blue. I am NOT your target audience here. My husband wears his hair in an extremely long ponytail in a professional field, because he likes it enough that he's willing to put up with the hassle. But it has indeed stood in his way at times, despite being a very clean look, and as classic as it's possible for super-long hair on a man to be. Yours was more of-the-moment, and that might seem even less appealing to employers.

But yeah, you're completely adorable, and this is going to be true no matter the haircut. So it's perfectly reasonable to go with the more professional and (dare I say it) Adult look, and your friends will get used to it.
posted by Because at 6:28 AM on September 19, 2012

You look cute both ways, you look much more grown-up with the shorter hair.
posted by mskyle at 9:06 AM on September 19, 2012

Change is hard. For some people, that's true of even small changes that don't affect them.

My hair tends to be somewhere between waist and hip length, and whenever I've talked about even trimming the split ends, there's a chorus of "OMG NOOOOOOOO" from my social circle. And then I do it anyway, and they get used to it after a week or two of comments - but we go through it all again the next time. (One day I'm going to shave it all off as a research fundraiser. We'll see what they say then!)

It's your head, and your reasons for making the change are all sound. This isn't a committee decision.

(Though that said, the haircut looks fine. And your forehead looked entirely reasonable to me.)
posted by Someone Else's Story at 10:29 AM on September 19, 2012