Should I lose wedding weight?
September 18, 2012 10:13 AM Subscribe
I'm getting married in a year, and am currently a bit out of shape. I feel I should lose weight to fit into the nicer wedding dresses, but need feedback on how realistic/rational my goals are - especially given a complicated history. Also, how to deal with a fiance who has strong concerns about this whole thing?
posted by corb to health & fitness (61 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I'm really happy to be getting married, and just went to my first wedding dress try-on. Unfortunately, it left me feeling bad about myself. I had to call many, many places to get any places that had more than just a few dresses. Even the one that did didn't have very many dresses in my size, and the dresses that were in my size were either unflattering, or just not as nice (design, cloth, etc) as the ones that were a few sizes down. Even though my fiance ooohed and aaahed at the right moments, and said I looked beautiful, I really felt like I was getting a second-class wedding experience.
More than anything, I think I hate seeing all of these incredibly gorgeous dresses that I can't even try on to /see/ if they look good on me.
Part of me thinks the solution is simple: I just need to lose weight, then I can fit into the nice dresses. Apparently this is a Thing People Do (frantic wedding dress weight loss), and family members have started asking me if I will be doing this. But the other part of me thinks that it will be really stressful, and unnecessary, and I can just do some other thing unknown to me yet and everything will turn out fine. Also, I refuse to do any of the more extreme quick-fix methods, which kind of terrify me. I've thought of tailoring, but then I'm taking a shot in the dark with my Wedding Dress, which seems scary. Also, my fiance fell in love with me at this size, which is not even really unusual, and has repeatedly expressed that he thinks I'm being ridiculous and would look lovely in a burlap sack.
Part of the complicating factor is that I used to be extremely fit. At my peak "fighting trim," I weighed about forty pounds less than I do now. However, in order to achieve that, I was running several miles a day, and eating carefully chosen tiny meals. I was also in the Army, so I had people yelling at me about my body fat all the time as an additional motivator. And even then at a really low body fat percentage, I still had hips and breasts that maybe don't work with traditional wedding dress cuts.
Additionally, my fiance is worried about this. He thinks that trying to lose weight in this really focused way will remind me of the bad times and body image problems of the Army, and make me feel even worse about myself for gaining weight when I stopped running all the time. That my "fighting trim" weight was in fact a really unhealthy weight for my body type, and if I try to strive for it, I'll be really miserable. He is supportive, sort of, but really, really concerned. Also, he loves to cook, and loves to cook delicious things that I eat and enjoy and am very happy over - something that couldn't happen if I went back to bite-sized protein bits.
What do I do in this situation? And how much time do I have to decide? I keep seeing places that say you need to order your wedding dress six to eight months in advance.
tl; dr : Is losing weight for a wedding dress worth the stress? What to do when your fiance isn't on the same page?