Contracting with your neighbor - wise or unwise?

August 11, 2005 7:35 AM

Contracting with your neighbor -- wise or unwise? We are shopping around a major home improvement job. On the list of contractors is our next-door neighbor and friend, who has recently taken up contracting as a second career after years of doing completely different work. He seems capable enough (he did over his own house beautifully) but something tells me that giving the job to him is not a wise move. I'm thinking about when the crap hits the fan -- as it always does with major jobs like this -- our friendship is doomed. Scratch him off the list or give it a shot?
posted by terrier319 to home & garden (14 comments total)

I wouldn't do it. There is the problem that your friendship might suffer, certainly. But there is also how much a priority your job will be to your neighbor.

One of my friends hired a friend to handle a rather large remodelling project. Since they were pals, he cut her a discount; however, because he was doing the work at reduced cost, she was very low on his list of jobs.

Her work took months beyond what it should have. Plus, when the guy did come by, he always wanted to socialize for awhile before he'd start working. It really wore her out.

Their friendship is still intact but her project took twice as long as it needed to. I'm sure she'd say she would have gladly paid more to have the work done in a more timely way.

Incidentally, this question was just covered in the most recent issue of This Old House. They advised against hiring friends and relatives, in most cases.
posted by Sully6 at 7:51 AM on August 11, 2005

I get guitar lessons off a friend. This works because I enjoy his company anyway, and he's a good teacher. But I think it works because I know that if it starts not working out, he or I can stop the lessons and continue our friendship as normal.

It seems to me you are risking two things: the friendship and your house. Why? There seems no good reason except to do your friend a favour, or perhaps get a discount. Neither of these are worth risking a friendship or your house for. You could end up destroying both...
posted by pollystark at 8:04 AM on August 11, 2005

It's survivable, with lots of communication and with PUTTING ALL UNDERSTANDINGS, NO MATTER HOW MINOR, IN WRITING.

But, believe me, there's a distinctly un-fun part.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 8:09 AM on August 11, 2005

I've seen exactly this situation recently in my circle of friends, where Friend A contracts Friend B to build an addition. Friend B, while a really nice guy, basically screwed over Friend A, demanding advance payment and then taking forever to not-quite complete the job (while he worked on other, more lucrative jobs). The fact that they're friends, and part of a bigger circle of friends, made the whole episode very awkward.

So I think that this could work, but you've got to A) be very confident in this guy's performance, and B) observe a sharp line between business and neighborliness. It's definitely more fraught with complications than a strictly business relationship.

Get bids from other contractors, and spend some time walking around the house and talking with them. You'll get some idea of how they work. Do the same with your neighbor. If he seems like the best candidate after that, have a hard talk with him about these concerns. Still not a guarantee that you won't get burned, but it does give you more information to work with.
posted by adamrice at 8:18 AM on August 11, 2005

I almost never hire friends. It's bad mojo.
posted by mosch at 9:27 AM on August 11, 2005

One of my friends hired a friend to handle a rather large remodelling project. Since they were pals, he cut her a discount; however, because he was doing the work at reduced cost, she was very low on his list of jobs.

my friend had the same experience. Basically, he got cut a deal, which meant he "couldn't complain", and the work sucked, so in the end, the savings wasn't worth it (the work is still not done, and it's been like 6 months).
posted by fishfucker at 9:33 AM on August 11, 2005

i think you should trust your intuition on this ... there are people who have done this and it worked out well for them ... and as you can read above, there are those who had bad experiences ... so what we can tell you is limited compared to your feeling that it's not a good idea to do this with this person

your intuition is trying to tell you something ...
posted by pyramid termite at 9:39 AM on August 11, 2005

Don't do business with friends or family.
posted by cribcage at 9:44 AM on August 11, 2005

I think FF has it right: if you take a deal from a friend or relative, you also lose your ability to complain or do anything to make the job more difficult for the contracter. If you do want to go with your neighbor for the work, get a solid contract that outlines all the costs, expectations, timelines, etc., and insist on paying market value for the job.
posted by handful of rain at 10:25 AM on August 11, 2005

Had the chance to do this...decided against it. When we bought This Old Crap House, neighbors came out of the woodwork offering their services. However, the previous owner had used a neighbor (not the ones who offered their services) and the work was terrible. He could make things "look" okay, but scratch the surface and his work was very poor.

Now that I'm further along in the work, I am SO glad I made that decision. For example, our contractor ordered an expensive piece of glass in the wrong size. He had to reorder and eat the cost (which I'm sure ate up a fair amount of his profit.) If this had been a neighbor, instead of a contractor, I would have felt somewhat guilty and possibly they would have felt resentful. As it was, once the project was over, I never had to give it another thought (unlike if I had to greet him over the back fence everday.)

I'm another vote for keeping them separate and I've been working on this stuff for 25 months now.
posted by jeanmari at 10:29 AM on August 11, 2005

I wouldn't hire any contractor because they "seem capable enough". I would definitely seek out someone with a lot of experience, licensed and bonded, with many recommendations, preferably from someone you know and trust. Even with all of that, I have been ripped off by contractors.

You might see if there's something in your area similar to what lobakgo recommended to me. The Homeowner's Club has been great.
posted by agropyron at 10:38 AM on August 11, 2005

This can be figured out mathematically. The first thing you have to figure out is how much this guys friendship is really worth to you. Is he a close friend or a 'proximity friend'? Would you guys still be friends if you moved away?

Also take into consideration that you won't move away and you might have a frosty, awkward relationship with your neighbor. Not fun.

Anyway, lets call that value V(F). (Value of friendship).

Then, figure out what the value to you of having the house done by this guy. You know, the emotional value of doing your friend a favor, getting closer to him, etc, etc. Lets call this value V(F'), the value of your new and improved friendship after the work is done.

Now, let's look at the probability that the shit will hit the fan, and you'll lose your friendship. We'll call this value P(S).

Finally, take the amount of money you might save if you hire this guy, M.

If the expected value formula M+(1-P(S))*V(F') – P(S)*V(F) is greater then zero, you should do it. If it's less then zero, you should not do it.

You might want to make up distributions for those values (like bell curves), in which case you'd do it if there was more volume under the curve above zero, and not do it otherwise.
posted by delmoi at 10:40 AM on August 11, 2005

Don't do it. You need to be able to fire your contractor.

Also contractors don't have much motivation to find you the best bids. It's not their money. In our old neighborhood the variation between high and low bids for a decent-sized remodeling project could be over 100 percent, well into six figures. I wouldn't want to subject a friendship that that kind of perturbation.
posted by ldenneau at 12:11 PM on August 11, 2005

It shouldn't be an issue as long as you are very clear about what he can bill you for. You don't want to have money be an issue.
Also once the main job is done, don't ask him to do any odd jobs for you, since you want to end the boss/employee paradigm as quickly as possible.
posted by parallax7d at 12:52 PM on August 11, 2005