I hear the espresso's really cheap in this joint
September 13, 2012 8:29 PM Subscribe
Paying for first dates: who should do it?
posted by Miss T.Horn to human relations (86 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
This is an age-old question, but I'm curious about what MeFites think: if a fella asks a lady out on a first date, ought he pay for it? (or if a lady asks a fella/lady out on a date, etc etc...the question here is really "should the asker pay for the askee?").
This happened to me recently: guy explicitly asks me out for a coffee date, then just doesn't offer to get me anything. At all. There was a protracted silence wherein he nursed the coffee he'd bought for himself not thirty seconds before I arrived, me finally saying, "Should I get something?" and him offering up something like, "I hear the espresso's great here." The conversation was friendly, he was fine and normally I'd give a guy like him another date to see how things go, but I cut out after about an hour, citing errands, and not feeling overly jazzed about him because of, well, his asking me across the city and not even offering to pay $1.50 for my drink.
Today he sent me an email asking for another date.
Is this a jerk move on his part, or is this sort of thing totally okay, in your view? I'm disinclined to agree to meet this guy again, and sort of feel like I ought to tell him why. What are your thoughts?
TL;DR: Is it rude for the asker to not even offer to pay for the askee on a first date? Are there generally held beliefs about etiquette in this regard?