Kinky Puns Needed!!!!!

September 12, 2012 9:15 PM

Kinky puns needed!

I'm writing a 10 humorous speech on kink and I want to fill it with puns!

It will have 3 sub (tee hee) sections: the first on why kink is relevant/where it is in pop culture, the second is about how kink culture promotes consent, communication and courage/trust, and the third section is how to find out more about kink.

I'm at the end of my chain and I need more ideas!

posted by becomingly to writing & language (12 answers total)

"I don't want to get too tied up in knots about this."

"It's enough to make you gag."

"I had him pegged from the beginning."
posted by Dasein at 9:41 PM on September 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

"For more safe words on the subject..."

"There's bound to be someone into BDSM."

"Before I wrap this up..." (Is wrapping a thing?)

"To tie it all together..."
posted by me3dia at 9:45 PM on September 12, 2012

"For more safe words on the subject..."

I would say, "Let's be safe in our choice of words."
posted by Dasein at 9:50 PM on September 12, 2012

I don't want to get off on the wrong foot, or be a pain in the ass, so let's agree that you'll yell or tap out when you've had enough pun-ishment, before we flog the dominant paradigm to death.

(Are the italics too cheeky? Too smacking of self satisfaction? Wouldn't want any naughty bits to rub off on you, or rub you the wrong way.)

These come pretty easy once you get going.
posted by ceribus peribus at 10:14 PM on September 12, 2012 [5 favorites]

With friends like you, who needs enemas?

Lord of the Rings riff on Dildo T. Baggins

Well...just off the cuffs

Reminds of that old Beatles song, Golden Show... Slumbers

Stilleto shoe...used'ta let you (it rhymes if you say it fast

Just let me strap on my microphone

Well of corset, on the other handjob...

And I said listen here ya little nipclamper

50 shades of Clit Lit

Glad to be a member here

It gets hard, when you start to talk about kink

I'm just trying to remember my Balzac

and he a came back, a cockring hero....

and when Amelia Earhart entered the cockpit

I didnt know she had been pre-dick-ting....

Her card said analyst, I guess I pronounced it wrong

can you whip up a...

crop a picture

what is the Greek food...Spankakopita or something like that?
posted by timsteil at 10:26 PM on September 12, 2012 [3 favorites]

Well, you could introduce each subsection with the appropriate dominant themes.
posted by en forme de poire at 10:45 PM on September 12, 2012

Are you feeling knotty (naughty)?
posted by gryftir at 1:47 AM on September 13, 2012

"strapped for ..."
"you're bound to..."
"name brand..."
"brand spanking new..."
posted by quiteliterally at 1:50 AM on September 13, 2012

Why am I into S and M?
Beats me.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 7:59 AM on September 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

Be sure to mention you're a cunning linguist.
posted by Sunburnt at 8:16 AM on September 13, 2012

"Done right, kinky sex can be a real bonding experience."
posted by Schadenfreudian at 10:56 AM on September 13, 2012

"First times are important. When you're with a new partner, don't rubber (or him!) the wrong way.
posted by Schadenfreudian at 10:57 AM on September 13, 2012