Dating with a looming relocation date
September 7, 2012 9:37 PM Subscribe
Dating within a limited time frame-- okay idea or terrible idea?
posted by sockypuppeteer to Human Relations (7 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
So I was dumped about three weeks ago. I am not distraught about it, it wasn't serious and would have been mutual if he hadn't been a dick about it (but... that's a whole 'nother story.) I met the guy on okcupid and had a lot of fun with the site overall-- I went on dates with half a dozen guys, had a good time on all of them and was asked on a second date in all but one case. While I wasn't interested in dating all of the guys I met, I had fun meeting all of them and each first date lasted at least 3-4 hours with good conversation. It got me out meeting new people, going to fun places, and helped me get over the OMG DATING I DON'T KNOW HOW hump that I had for a long time. And... full disclosure, it was kind of an ego boost :/
Now that I find myself newly single (and also, due to the ending of a program I was in and the ensuing departures of a lot of people I knew, somewhat friendless) it's so appealing to hop back on the site again buuttt I am planning on moving far away within the year. My timeline for leaving is potentially as early as mid-December and at the latest mid-May. (I will probably know that timeline within the next month). The plan is not set in stone (I like it here fine, I just miss being within driving distance of my family and would like to be closer to them in the long run) and I could stick around for a good job or a really amazing guy but it's not too likely.
So... is there a way to get some dates and snuggles and sex without setting myself and some unlucky boy up for inevitable heartbreak? I have proven to not be so into casual sex in the hookup-at-a-bar sense but if I feel comfortable with a guy I would be okay with doing an affectionate friends with benefits type thing (if there was an actual friendship involved). But I'm not sure how to indicate that on a dating profile without attracting super sleazy guys. And I want to be really upfront about it and not waste the time of anyone who is looking for a real relationship.
I guess I'm asking about "casual dating" but I've never totally understood what people meant when they said that in terms of how it actually works.
For what it's worth, I seem to be great at the type of relationship that appears promising in the first few months but never really takes off-- possibly a good thing for once?
-is there a way to make this work? Or would be better to take a dating hiatus? Anyone have similar experiences or insight?
-if I do get back on okc, how should I explain the situation in my profile in a way that won't be a douchebag magnet?