Will I ever trust him again?
August 24, 2012 12:01 PM Subscribe
Can I get over this?
posted by sunshine37 to Human Relations (79 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year and have lived together for about 6 months. About 7 months ago, I stumbled upon (seriously, was not looking for anything the first time) some very inappropriate/sexually explicit facebook messages with multiple girls (5-6) that had been going on for most of our relationship. How badly he wanted to be with them, all the things he was going to do to them, and asking when he could get with them. I was devastated. I confronted him and he told me they didn't mean anything, he was just leading them on, and he never intended to or actually went through with anything. I wanted it to be true and we had already started the process of moving in together. I forgave him, but then (and still now) constantly was looking through his phone and facebook for more evidence (I know, this is so, so wrong of me). Twice more after this I found more conversations and he explained them away and I forgave him. The last time I found anything was about 5 months ago. Our relationship is great besides this and I WANT to ignore it and tell myself he has changed and would never cheat on me, but I still don't trust him. I want to tell myself this was early in our relationship and I should get over it now because he doesn't do it anymore. But I can't help thinking about it sometimes and it still hurts as badly as it did when I first found out. Can we move on from this? Can I trust him again? I tell myself all the time I'm going to stop snooping and I still keep doing it.