"Treat him mean to keep him keen"?
August 15, 2012 8:44 PM Subscribe
I'm a nice, friendly person, not a passive doormat, just... nice. But apparently I need to be a mean bitch. I thought "men love bitches" was just a cliche...
posted by rose-selavy to human relations (34 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
I am a woman in my early 30s. I struggle a lot with dating as it's very seldom that there is mutual attraction between a man and I.
The last 3 men I dated:
1) suddenly announced (while in bed) that he was submissive (in his words, a "pain slut"), and wanted me to seriously hurt him during sex. When I asked him what he had in mind, he just kept repeating "do anything you want!". I had no clue what to do and froze. I have a feeling that he wanted me to just magically turn into a sadistic dominatrix.
2) Kept dropping hints and made remarks about how hot mean women are, mentioning his "crazy psycho bitch" ex and how amazing she was in bed.
3) Flat-out told me that I would be hotter & sexier if I acted meaner and bitchier.
None of them were initially up front with me about this; it was a matter of weeks before they said anything about it. I ended it with all 3 because I don't know how to "just become" a bitch.
Women acquaintances of mine who play games with men, play "hard to get" and have a magical number of dates to wait before sex always seem to have men buzzing around them- they never seem to be single and always have several men interested in them at once. My closer female friends and I, who don't play games (or even understand the concept of playing games) have terrible luck with dating, and have difficulty even meeting single men who are interested in us.
I am totally "GGG", very liberal and irreverent- I'm just not bitchy or mean enough. Is there something about me that attracts these guys? What is it about mean, bitchy women that is so desirable to men?