August 15, 2012 6:47 PM Subscribe
Relative robbed our grandma who has Alzheimer's... took $10,000 worth of gold belonging to me. Not the first time. What to do?
posted by kettleoffish to human relations (21 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My cousin and my mom have a history of robbing my grandmother. She has Alzheimers (Grandma). She has never reported them to the police, but has been approached by a jeweller in the neighborhood who has known her for a long time saying, "I think these are your pieces." It turned out my aunt (or maybe cousin) were taking them and trying to sell them when they visited my grandmother.
This has recently happened again, except this time it was my stuff. I don't think they used the same jeweller after last time, so there's no proof. But my grandmother remembers the exact occasion that she think the stuff disappeared.
To clarify, this is $10,000 worth of gold that was given to my parents when I was born. We live in a culture where people do that. It is not common for people in our culture to keep gold in wardrobes, but my mom who gets sentimental about stuff like that-- and insisted we keep it there because it's safer with my grandmother, the maternal home etc.
I would love to have $10,000, though I don't really miss it. I feel bad that it's gone and bad for my parents, since it was really their friends who contributed so generously to their young life. My dad is sad that my baby stuff with my name engraved in it is sold.
(I'm also worried about my grandma who lives in a foreign country with my aunt and cousin, while we live in the US, and about who will take care of her).
Aside from the emotional stuff, is there any logical/concrete practical action we can take to get the stuff back? Everyone in my family is non-confrontational and there is a big issue about whether to really talk about this.
Finally, should I confront my cousin? (Via fb-- she lives abroad).
Tldr; my grandma is sick, she lives abroad with my aunt and cousin, who stole some stuff belonging to me (my parents)....
Thank you for any advice or wisdom you may be able to offer. I am putting this under "human relations" because of the family element but am also interested in the practical aspects of what to do when a family member steals.