Which to put on? When to take off?

August 13, 2012 10:34 PM

2 Condom Questions - especially looking for a woman's (or partner's) P.O.V.: Is there a preferred kind, and, when...

I'm single. I've been buying Durex Extra Sensitive condoms for ages. I usually buy them 100 at a time, but this year they're stupidly expensive. I don't mind paying for safety, but then again I can't help wondering if there's a different brand women might prefer? The reason I ask is that I've had women go down on me between rounds, and I love that, so I want to make sure I don't buy a brand that might taste bad. And if there's a kind women tend to prefer, I'd want to know.

Also, how soon after pulling out should a man leave to take off the condom? A few months ago, I had a date that led to some wonderful but casual sex. When I pulled out, I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said I'd be right back, but she said to wait. I was confused, so I said I was just going to take the condom off, but she said "Not yet" and she pulled me back so we could cuddle. I'm a bit of a neat freak, so I felt weird having a spent condom on, but also totally understand being in an excellent moment, so I wonder if my usual routine of getting up immediately to take a condom off may be rude...? Or something? I guess I feel like if a woman is going to share her body with me, I want to make sure I'm being a complete gentleman. And that's why I'm asking.

So... tl;dr:

#1: What's the best brand/kind of condom to buy?
#2: How soon should a guy get up to take the condom off after he comes? Do you prefer the guy to cuddle immediately with the spent condom still on, or is it ok if he gets up immediately to take it off (before returning to bed, of course!)?

posted by Mr Ected to human relations (13 answers total)

They all seem about the same to me.

As long as the condom is made of latex, it's going to taste like latex and make your dick taste like latex, in my experience. Better to wash off in between. Though honestly I would wait and see if it's an issue with your specific partner -- maybe not all women think it tastes bad?

Re the latter thing, honestly, if things are going well, the latter is not really a thing. I can't remember exactly how it worked for anyone I've been with. I'm usually not thinking about that. You could keep a small trash can near your bed if you really really hate the feeling, I guess.
posted by Sara C. at 10:41 PM on August 13, 2012

Type of condom is going to vary fairly wildly from person to person. The only thing I'd avoid is spermicide.

You shouldn't stay inside a woman very long after orgasm when using a condom, because if you start to go soft it increases the risk that it will slip off when you pull out of her.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 11:05 PM on August 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

You can cuddle as long as you like, just make sure to reach down and grab the condom when you withdraw. IMO, of course.
posted by wrm at 11:22 PM on August 13, 2012

Re the second question: wastebasket near the bed, tissues handy, and you can remove the condom right away without leaving and with barely any interruption to your cuddling.
posted by lollusc at 12:34 AM on August 14, 2012 [9 favorites]

Once upon a time there was a kind of condoms I bought that smelled kind of ... cheesy. I now have no idea what brand they were, but didn't buy them again. I'm pretty much with Sara C. on the whole 'latex condoms will make your dick taste like latex whatever' issue. Apart from the cheesiness occasion and an unresolved question about whether some brands were making my bits itch (we established, with great relief, that it wasn't the latex causing an issue, and stopped buying the expensive ones), they are all pretty much the same to me.

My partner does not get out of bed to remove a condom, he just takes it off carefully, ties a knot in it - that's important! and bins it if in reach or drops it temporarily in a safe place (i.e. not anywhere it might get stood on - if you're in an unfamiliar bedroom, the floor is probably the safest place because some people don't like used condoms on their furniture, just remember to pick it up later) if he's feeling too exhausted to move as far as the bin. Having tissues handy is also helpful.
posted by Lebannen at 12:58 AM on August 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

i don't hate the taste of latex, but i won't put my mouth on a cock that had a condom with lube or spermicide on it. this is a preference thing, probably - but i don't know any one who puts their mouths on recently condomed dicks where spermicide was involved. it makes things tingle in a not good way. personally, i like a thin condom that fits. i very much dislike pre-lubed condoms - if lube is needed, i want to add it separately (and i prefer a lube with no sugar). i've also never found studded/ribbed/twisted for her pleasure to be pleasing. they go from unnoticeable to straight up annoying.

as for after - i don't mind the jump up and clean up routine, but some people do. if you're with someone who minds, as others have said, take off the condom, knot it, throw it away - then keep a (CLEAN) sex towel by the bed to wipe you/her up with (or a couple of them!). this is a delicate dance when sleeping with new people - you might not want to give the impression that you have loads of new partners over (i once fooled around with a woman who kept a big bowl of different condoms under the bed. i didn't mind at all, but some people might) - but a discreet towel and a trashcan should be just fine.
posted by nadawi at 2:02 AM on August 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

Women aren't all the same, dude.

1. Just buy the ones you like.
2. With the date you describe, obviously, getting up immediately to clean up was too soon. With someone else it might be different. Listen to who you're with.

posted by J. Wilson at 5:33 AM on August 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

Check Amazon for better pricing. We buy in bulk there, but then we don't rely on the cheap-o condoms we get for BC or STD prevention. Durex works just fine. Most people don't like the taste of latex, so yeah, wash off. The condoms that are supposed to be all fancy-shaped for the lady's (or receiving dude's) enjoyment don't really do anything. Don't waste your money on them.

As for number two, I definitely preferred when the guy would dispose of the condom right away. I'm also the person who jumps up immediately afterward to pee because I've had way too many UTIs. The cuddling can come later when you aren't all wet and sticky. However, I can see that peoples' opinions vary here. Towels are handy. My husband and I each have a drawer full of towels in our respective nightstands for this purpose. Also recommending the trashcan by the bed (Use a liner! Trust me on this!) as a quick and easy disposal method.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 7:37 AM on August 14, 2012

I appreciate your attitude and your desire to make your partners comfortable.

All condoms taste a bit gross, honestly, or at least I've never noticed a difference. Lubed maybe are worse? Not really sure.

As for #2, because it's your body, you should do what makes you feel most comfortable, especially when it comes to casual stuff. A trashcan and some wipes near the bed is a good idea.
posted by the young rope-rider at 7:47 AM on August 14, 2012

1) Don't buy in bulk. Find out what your partner likes. I'm female completely HATE condoms and find sex with them only marginally better than no sex at all, and no, not all condoms are the same. The only ones I can stand are the sheerest out there. Ribs, etc, don't do anything for me. In fact, if you have a Good Vibrations I'd buy a big variety and try them all out.

2) Like other people have said, keep kleenex handy, pull it off, wrap it up, and set it on the floor or something til cuddle time is over. It's nice to have a hand towel handy, too.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:22 AM on August 14, 2012

Each woman is different in their preferences, but in my experience (and amongst my close friends), spermicide burns, and causes nasty after effects. Unless she tells you beforehand that she doesn't mind it, I'd steer clear of spermicide (or "warming") condoms.
posted by hasna at 5:40 PM on August 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

Ditto steering clear of spermicide.
posted by amaire at 10:10 PM on August 14, 2012

There do exist non-latex condoms made of other materials (don't bother with the lambskin kind, they are ineffective for STD prevention-- look for polyurethane, nitrile, or another poly-something.) They naturally do not have the taste of latex. Another benefit is that some of the polys are thinner than your basic latex condom. I like the brand Avanti, but ymmv.

The lube on the condoms (either already there or that you add) also affects the experience, so take that into consideration. Some people prefer unlubricated condoms for blowjobs because of a dislike of the lube, or because of the taste it imparts. So there's that.

You can buy a sampler pack from some sex shops, notably Good Vibrations online, with one or two of each of the condoms that they sell. You could probably also buy a three-pack of each of the brands that appeal to you. It may be kind of an interesting and fun experiment to either a)try them out yourself and see which feel the best/are the least objectionable, or b)find a woman who might be into experimenting to find the best one with you.

...I don't even have/interact with a penis and I would still read a blog of well-written condom reviews.
posted by blnkfrnk at 12:10 AM on August 15, 2012