relationship beanplating: edition 1,232
August 13, 2012 7:17 AM Subscribe
realtionship question filter: things dragged on for half a year very casually. I've decided I'm not getting what I need out of this. Should I try to turn it into something more serious or has this ship sailed?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (18 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I've been seeing this guy for around six months now. We are both mid-20s. It never really progressed into anything serious, we get together about once a week-- sometimes we go to dinner or something like that but mostly just hang out at his place. He's pretty affectionate when we're actually together, but that's as far as it goes-- we barely talk when we're not actively arranging to hang out, and I almost never see him on weekends (mostly his fault, he often is out of town or is doing hobbies that I don't have the skills/equipment to do with him... I think he might make time for me if I pushed the issue but I don't think he'd particularly want to, honestly). I've met a couple of his friends, he hasn't really met any of mine (I am fairly new to the area and don't have a lot of close friends, I was always going to bring him to a bbq or something, it just never worked out). We are not exclusive, or at least we haven't talked about it specifically.
Anyway, this was a little more casual than what I'd been looking for but I was actually 75% sure I'd be moving in August (he knew), so I didn't try to push for anything more.
But, recently got a new job here, looks like I'm staying in the area at least a little while longer. I know that this relationship isn't enough for me right now, but I don't know how to approach making it more serious-- is it salvageable? should I try? It kind of feels like things have fizzled but I still enjoy spending time with him and it appears that he does with me, just not to the extent that I want. Not sure if I can redirect things or how to do it-- I'm super bad at this kind of thing, I haven't actually been in A Real Relationship before, not totally sure how to do it or what I would want out of it.
Anyway, what is the best way to approach this? Should I cut my losses and stop seeing him, should I be more aggressive about asking him to spend time with me, should I sit him down and be like "in light of my sticking around, this either needs to change or end"?
I'm super terrible at this kind of thing. geez.