How can I stop thinking about a girl I like, who's too young for me to say anything to, at least enough for me to focus on my work?
August 11, 2012 10:01 AM Subscribe
How can I stop thinking about a girl I like, who's too young for me to say anything to, at least enough for me to focus on my work? (Snowflakey details inside.)
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (37 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I met this girl a while back, she's the younger sister of a good friend of mine. I had an immediate attraction towards her, that whole feeling of being "struck by lightning", but when I realized how young she is (she's in high school, I'm in my late 20's), I was pretty disgusted with myself. Luckily, I go to school hundreds of miles from her, so I happily can't reasonably pursue this.
Well that was more than a year ago. She's still in high school, and I still can't stop thinking about her. This is has been interfering with my work for months and months. I can't stop thinking about her even though it's months between the times I see or talk to her, even though I *know* she's underage, and even though I know she's probably not even attracted to someone my age. When I'm at school trying to focus on my lectures, when I'm at home trying to do my work, when I'm trying to go to sleep, my mind won't get off of her. I'm not eating well, either.
All I really want right now is to control these thoughts enough so I can do my work. I have major obligations in my life (I'm a grad student), and I need to do well on them. I want some advice to help me control my thoughts about her.
One thing about me is that I am a person of action. I like doing things about the problems in my life. Being unable to do something about this problem is frustrating beyond belief.
I've tried meeting other people, but I've found that even after talking to them for a while, my heart just won't get invested in them - it's like trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
If she were old enough, or if I wasn't on such incredible terms with her family, I would just flat out tell her and let her reject me and come to terms with all of this that way - when I've been stuck on girls in the past (who were of reasonable age), this has usually completely taken care of my problem. Obviously, the age issue and the awkwardness it would cause within her family make this not an option.
I also try to tell myself to to just wait until she's old enough to tell her, that that is the plan right now, but that only works for a short while. I find myself "purging" in a sense by writing letters to her that afterwards I know would be foolish to send.
Please, someone give me some advice, or some action(s) I can do, that will help me control my thoughts.
The only thing I can think of (this just came to me actually), is writing letters that I don't send, but just save as if I might maybe possibly one day would have the small small smallllll chance of giving her, so that I "trick" myself into feeling like I *am* doing something.