Sometimes, I overshare. How do I get over it?
August 11, 2012 6:25 AM Subscribe
I acted like an eyebrow/waxing session was a therapy session. I am a loyal customer of two years and I feel humiliated and don't know if I should go back to the spa after doing such an awkward thing. Advice?
posted by anonymous to human relations (29 answers total)
I have been going to the same eyebrow/waxing artist for two years now and have probably gone at least once or twice every month. I always get my face waxed by the same individual (the owner of the spa) and really enjoy talking to her about various things that range from small talk topics to sharing various parts of my life with this person. Generally speaking, my conversations are light-hearted, but have noticed a particular pattern in our conversations where we start off with small talk which then leads to me disclosing information about my life with her.
I fear that I over disclosed and made this person uncomfortable. I would be SURPRISED if I didn't make this person feel uncomfortable and in turn, I feel very uncomfortable about this.
Somehow, we were talking about partying and I mentioned how people always say things that indicate their surprise or lack of belief that I party. I jokingly added "I would party, but I'm on anti-depressants" and she told me that I wasn't missing much and that it was smart not to be drinking while on anti-depressants. Then, I made some comment about how I didn't want to be the type of person that couldn't hold their alcohol, especially after my first year of college where I was the type of girl that stumbled to her door late at night. She also agreed that a lot of people are crazy at my age and do things that are pretty intense. The spa owner mentioned how she had a friend that was married to some man that was an alcoholic and how he confessed to his wife about various things that he had done. I responded that I respected that someone could acknowledge that they had a 'problem' because I had seen how alcohol could make a family dysfunctional like my family because of my dad's drinking problem and a mother that hit me. I also mentioned how I am not very close to my family anymore, especially one of my parents. In addition, I also talked about how I was always treated differently in school and bullied and what not. I didn't divulge a lot of information about these life experiences, but I did briefly mention them and I feel like this was such a terrible thing to do.
She provided good advice, shared her own experiences, didn't judge me outwardly at least, and didn't make me feel uncomfortable. We laughed so it wasn't all serious. I apologized for what happened because I didn't intend for the conversation to be like that and she said not to worry because a lot of people share information with her which tends to be crazy kind of information.
I don't know why I disclosed this information and feel ashamed about the whole experience. I tend to be aware of personal boundaries and that's why I feel so terrible about having this type of discussion with her. I am also in therapy so please don't mention therapy.
How do I get over this? Should I stop going to this eyebrow/waxing artist and spa because of the information that I have shared? I feel ashamed and anxious about this whole experience and I'm worried that I made her uncomfortable too. What makes people feel comfortable sharing life experiences with others that are employed in the client service industries like hair stylists, barbers, and eyebrow/waxing artists?
I am a regular, loyal customer and would like to keep going back because of the staff at this spa and the level of service provided, but I don't know if it's a wise decision to go back after what I said. Advice?