Long distance relationship with unattractive boyfriend who knows too many people from my past
August 10, 2012 1:45 PM Subscribe
How do I get over the fact that people find my boyfriend unattractive, how can my boyfriend and I make our long-distance relationship more romantic and interesting, and how do I deal with/get over the fact that he knows people from my past that I wish I didn't ever have to run into?
posted by lilacp to Human Relations (43 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
Hi, guys. First time posting a question. Well, three questions.
I'm dating a wonderful guy. He's a nice person... a bit of a busy schedule, a little cocky, okay body, and I am okay with his looks, but I just feel like I can't flaunt him. When my friends see him, they act surprised that I'm dating him. I know, this is so shallow :( but I'm just wondering how I can get over it and truly, truly understand that it's not about what others think, but about me and him. I've always dated attractive guys and am considered very attractive myself. I think he'd look a little better if he brought out certain features, maybe grew a beard, maybe switched his ordinary glasses for a sexier pair, thankfully his fashion sense is more than okay, but I am afraid to bring this up to him because it might seem like I want to change him.
Secondly...it's a long-distance relationship, and I'm starting to get restless about the lack of romance. Aside from daily phone calls and texts, I don't feel like I'm in a relationship. In my opinion, since we can't see each other every day, we should be able to do things to fill that gap, so to speak. It's getting to the point where I'm not feeling loved, etc etc. How do I broach this subject, what exactly do I say, and what are some suggestions for making it more interesting? My love languages are quality time and words of affirmation, so I don't even know why the heck I feel bad that all I ever get in the mail is bills.
Finally, in the past, I got involved in friendships that ended in a lot of hurt. I moved on, or so I thought, but then realized that my boyfriend is close or acquainted to and/or in touch with many of these people, including two of my exes. I am thinking that I might have to interact with these people, e.g. he might want to invite some of them to our wedding if we get married. Actually I'm also thinking that if these friends and exes see him, they'll be surprised that HE was the one I ended up with.
It might help to add that:
- I'm pretty blunt and I'm still learning how to speak tactfully;
- I'm in my late 20s, he's in his 30s;
- We're planning to end the distance in a few more months.