Being a Better Friend and Person
August 7, 2012 6:34 AM Subscribe
How do I move past being hurt from unrequited love, in order to have a friendship with this person?
posted by anonymous to human relations (18 answers total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
I'm female, and one of my closest friends is a guy I have known for about 4 years. During the first year we knew each other, we spent lots of time together, I developed feelings, and he sometimes "acted" like a had feelings too (in my mind), but did not return them.
For the past 3 or so years we have been living at a distance from one another but have kept in touch pretty regularly. I haven't seen him in person in about a year, though. The thing is, I cannot get him out of my mind, on a romantic level, and I think my pride/ego never stopped feeling hurt by not having my romantic feelings returned (i.e. "I'm not attractive enough?")
The thing is, our friendship is really special so I don't think I just want to give it up. But recently it's become clear that I still have feelings, which he definitely cannot return, and it's affecting the friendship. I can't be a good friend now. We decided we needed some space from one another (break in contact for awhile).
What I am looking for are some ways of rethinking this, perhaps some mental exercises or concrete things I can do to "get over" these feelings of being hurt and "in love", in order to just be friends with this guy. I know space and time is one aspect, but I feel like I have some mental work to do as well.
Any ideas? thanks!