What is this craziness about?
August 3, 2012 9:09 AM Subscribe
I am a woman and I have been friends with a guy for about a year now, and I'm about to pull my hair out. How do I deal with someone that I don't know where their head is at? Is it me? Is it him? What the hell do I do with this?
posted by anonymous to human relations (42 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I started a friendship with a guy a year ago and I have no idea what to think about what's been (or hasn't been) going on lately. It seemed like this guy was really shy when I met him, which I didn't really understand, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and get to know him.
So, we started to hang out more often, going to hear bands or go hiking and out to dinner. In my estimation, nothing huge. But I really enjoy his company. He told me several months ago that he really enjoys my company too.
Fast forward to the present. I don't really get what's going on with him. I haven't spent all that much time with him in the past couple of months, due to his work schedule and my anxiety about my own life's uncertainties. Anyway, to make a long story short, it seems like he doesn't really want to spend time with me anymore. And this hurts really bad. Strangely enough, he seems to be really concerned about my welfare. Like overly concerned. For example, I have been really sick here lately and haven't seen much of him. But he told some of our mutual friends that he found out I was really sick and he was so worried about me and he was asking them if they had talked to me and he wondered where I was and why he hadn't seen me, etc. I saw him the other day and he practically ran up to me asking me how I was feeling and how I'm doing. Like really protective. Another example is that I asked him if he could take my dog out a couple of times while I was out of town for a week. He agreed to it, which was cool. Then when I was out of town, he not only did what I asked him to do, but he came over to my house every day to check on my dog, took my dog to the river to play, bought my dog a vanilla ice cream cone, videotaped my dog playing in the river, and posted the videotape on his Facebook page. Needless to say, I was shocked and stunned.
The thing is, here lately, it seems like he is afraid of me or doesn't want to be around me or something. I don't know what it is, but I just get this weird vibe. I have talked to several people about this, and they don't get it either. I had one person say that it's like he wants to care about/take care of me, but he doesn't want me to know that he cares about me. WTF? Two other people said that it sounds like he is developing feelings for me and is scared to look at that, so he therefore wants to avoid me because he doesn't know how to handle it.
I don't know what to think, except that it is really painful. Have any of you wonderful MeFites ever experienced anything like this? The reason I ask this question on the "green" is I'm hoping to get some objective input from people who don't know this guy. I adore my friend. I just can't wrap my mind around what might be happening here. Any ideas?