How to support the abused
August 1, 2012 1:50 PM Subscribe
I've started to date again after the end of an eight year relationship. The good news is I've met an amazing woman and we're starting to develop a more serious relationship. The part I (male) need help with is that it turns out she was physically, sexually, mentally, and emotionally abused in several previous relationships over the course of about 15 years. How do I support her as a new relationship partner? Can you recommend any good resources for me to read?
posted by anonymous to human relations (11 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
We're both in counseling separately, so the usual Metafilter advice doesn't answer the question. I'm hoping for specific things we can do to help her be more comfortable that also nurture a growing relationship. For example, I've thought of instituting a non-sexual safe word so that if we're cuddling on the couch watching a movie and she starts to freak out she can let me know so I can give her the space she needs to self sooth. More context: we're in Maryland, both in our mid to late thirties, both financially independent, and she has a great two year old daughter whose father is mostly absent and dysfunctional.