Help me not mentally flagellate myself
July 28, 2012 5:34 AM Subscribe
As a shy, awkward introvert who is frankly not good with people, how can I shut down my own negative self-talk when I'm in the midst of social situations--namely, a big two-day-long event happening this weekend? Are there any easily remembered mantras or things I can tell myself so that I'm not focusing the whole time on my own shortcomings?
posted by indognito to Human Relations (36 answers total) 32 users marked this as a favorite
I'm about to embark on a two-day social event with lots of mingling and sitting at tables conversing for hours on end. As an introvert, this sort of thing leaves me dazed. I plan to slip away whenever possible to recharge, but obviously I am going to have to stretch beyond my comfort zone here.
My conversation skills are hampered by the fact that I also have auditory processing disorder, meaning I have a really, really hard time understanding what people are saying in noisy enviroments. I also start to space out the moment I get the least bit fatigued, which happens quickly in extremely social settings. It's like a fog comes over me and I struggle to even focus on conversation, let alone participate. Making eye contact feels very intense when I'm tired, so I struggle to keep it up. And then I feel like people are wondering what is up with the space cadet, why is she just sitting there like a bump on a log, she must hate us, etc.
Indeed, I spend a lot of time projecting and going through all sorts of congitive distortions (yes, I've had a lot of therapy) and would like to shut that down. People have commented on my quietness before, meaning it's not all in my head, which makes it difficult to not assume that some people are thinking the worst about me when I sit there mentally floating along.
I guess I was wondering if you've had similar problems, were there any thoughts or phrases you could mentally recite to yourself that would help you snap out of dwelling on your own shortcomings while you're in the thick of it? Or have you experienced "brain fog" and been successful in snapping out of it?
I'm sorry if this is rambling--still tired from last night's socializing.