Crab costume
July 19, 2012 2:35 AM Subscribe
A girl I'd like to impress (the barista at my local coffee shop) has invited me to her party, a "crab costume party". Any ideas for costumes? She's from New Zealand, in case that helps. Something kooky that doesn't require me to dress up like a crab would be appreciated...I don't look good in tights.
Since crab eyes are on stalks anyway, you could probably pull off one of those "deely-bobbers" headbands with the long springs and crabs on the tips. Extra points if you make the crabs out of construction paper with crayons and attach them to an existing one.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 2:44 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by halfbuckaroo at 2:44 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Put the constellation Cancer on a shirt with some glow-in-the-dark paint?
posted by Garm at 2:58 AM on July 19, 2012 [10 favorites]
posted by Garm at 2:58 AM on July 19, 2012 [10 favorites]
Waders and a t-shirt - go as a fisherman?
posted by DarlingBri at 3:05 AM on July 19, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 3:05 AM on July 19, 2012 [5 favorites]
Response by poster: That sounds totally doable. Love it.
I was thinking about plays on words, too — Captain Acrab...
posted by omnigut at 3:06 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
I was thinking about plays on words, too — Captain Acrab...
posted by omnigut at 3:06 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Maybe crab-related paraphernalia like a claw cracker utensil?
Perhaps a container of Old Bay seasoning? It's a semi-famous crab seasoning from the Maryland region of the U.S. East Coast.
If as well as being drunk you can also act fried you could be a crab Rangoon.
posted by XMLicious at 3:13 AM on July 19, 2012
Perhaps a container of Old Bay seasoning? It's a semi-famous crab seasoning from the Maryland region of the U.S. East Coast.
If as well as being drunk you can also act fried you could be a crab Rangoon.
posted by XMLicious at 3:13 AM on July 19, 2012
I would find a crabby old man character and go dressed up as that. Or, if you feel like going in drag, a crabby old woman.
posted by kellyblah at 3:14 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by kellyblah at 3:14 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Get a mock turtleneck with an iron-on crab decal.. you're mock crab!
posted by knile at 3:26 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by knile at 3:26 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Goes as Mr. Krabs.
posted by stevis23 at 3:35 AM on July 19, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by stevis23 at 3:35 AM on July 19, 2012 [3 favorites]
You could fashion a body tube from cardboard, spray paint it a virulent pink and go as a crab stick.
Or wear a crab bib, à la Joe's Crab Shack.
But personally, I'd go for the constellation idea posted above.
posted by Catch at 3:38 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Or wear a crab bib, à la Joe's Crab Shack.
But personally, I'd go for the constellation idea posted above.
posted by Catch at 3:38 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
A “Deadliest Catch” crab fisherman? Or perhaps an old timey 19th century crab fisherman type? You could go around running after everyone else.
posted by brappi at 3:38 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by brappi at 3:38 AM on July 19, 2012
Why not Zoidberg?
posted by fonetik at 3:39 AM on July 19, 2012 [39 favorites]
posted by fonetik at 3:39 AM on July 19, 2012 [39 favorites]
I like the constellation and fisherman idea especially. The crab restaurant goer idea wearing a crab bib is cute too. Maybe bring along a cracker or one of those little wooden mallets. However if you do venture to look more crabby, felt crab hats are pretty cheap. Example or just search "crab hat" for plenty more. So I'm not sure how fast you need this or how much shipping would be though.
posted by NikitaNikita at 3:55 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by NikitaNikita at 3:55 AM on July 19, 2012
If you weren't trying to pick her up, you could probably find an angle in the underwear variety... Eww but funny too.
posted by Jubey at 4:01 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by Jubey at 4:01 AM on July 19, 2012
See if you can find a long-sleeved shirt, get some ace wrap or paper towels or something, and wrap one arm so you've got a giant, massive arm. Then:
- squat and lift your bent arms up, elbows sticking out to the sides
- extend your big arm out at the elbow
- wave your whole big arm towards your body around the shoulder
- bow straight across your chest to position #1 above.
Et voila, you're a fiddler crab! Don't forget to walk sideways everywhere you go.
posted by herrdoktor at 4:05 AM on July 19, 2012
- squat and lift your bent arms up, elbows sticking out to the sides
- extend your big arm out at the elbow
- wave your whole big arm towards your body around the shoulder
- bow straight across your chest to position #1 above.
Et voila, you're a fiddler crab! Don't forget to walk sideways everywhere you go.
posted by herrdoktor at 4:05 AM on July 19, 2012
The fisherman bit. Bring a net so you can catch crab.
posted by Ironmouth at 4:43 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by Ironmouth at 4:43 AM on July 19, 2012
White shirt, draw a horseshoe shape on it, affect a grumpy expression, bang you're a horseshoe crab.
posted by mephron at 4:46 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by mephron at 4:46 AM on July 19, 2012
Horseshoe Crab
Grow a "horseshoe" mustache--thick and full across the upper lip, continuous around each side of the mouth down to the jaw bone (good examples: Ben Stiller in "Dodgeball", Hulk Hogan)
Fashion a "horseshoe crab" out of a real horseshoe: a) spray paint the shoe red or orange b) wind red electrical tape around and around to create the body/carapace; b) braided red, pink, and orange pipe cleaners for 4 legs on each side. The ends of a horseshoe already look like claws. Wear the horseshoe as a necklace
Throughout the night, you should be able to milk the horseshoe theme for some fun, light flirtation centered around luck, "getting lucky," etc
posted by BadgerDoctor at 5:02 AM on July 19, 2012
Grow a "horseshoe" mustache--thick and full across the upper lip, continuous around each side of the mouth down to the jaw bone (good examples: Ben Stiller in "Dodgeball", Hulk Hogan)
Fashion a "horseshoe crab" out of a real horseshoe: a) spray paint the shoe red or orange b) wind red electrical tape around and around to create the body/carapace; b) braided red, pink, and orange pipe cleaners for 4 legs on each side. The ends of a horseshoe already look like claws. Wear the horseshoe as a necklace
Throughout the night, you should be able to milk the horseshoe theme for some fun, light flirtation centered around luck, "getting lucky," etc
posted by BadgerDoctor at 5:02 AM on July 19, 2012
Another option: king crab. Would require a crown, maybe a scepter (something like an old table leg or a dowel spray painted gold with a plastic novelty crab glued to the end)
posted by BadgerDoctor at 5:16 AM on July 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by BadgerDoctor at 5:16 AM on July 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
Hermit crab! Find a cardboard box large enough to crawl into. The kind whitegoods come in, or something like that. Draw spirals on two opposite sides. Carry the box around and crawl into it when threatened.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:19 AM on July 19, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:19 AM on July 19, 2012 [4 favorites]
Oh yeah... and if you drink too much and start turning red, tell people you have been boiled.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:21 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:21 AM on July 19, 2012
crab bib
posted by Jason and Laszlo at 5:29 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by Jason and Laszlo at 5:29 AM on July 19, 2012
Maybe secure a t-shirt from 106.1 KRAB Radio?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:29 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:29 AM on July 19, 2012
Carrying a cardboard box labeled "crabs" would let you announce you have a case of the crabs.
posted by Forktine at 5:32 AM on July 19, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Forktine at 5:32 AM on July 19, 2012 [3 favorites]
How patriotic is she about Un Zud? Do you want to appeal to her patriotism?
There's a Crab Farm Winery (dress nicely and pontificate about NZ wines, which are usually spectacular and hard to not pontificate about). They also claim to be the King Crab capital of the world (dress nicely with a crown and make a supreme effort at learning to disdainfully pronounce fesh'n'cheps correctly - I am available on Skype if you need a tutorial).
posted by malibustacey9999 at 5:47 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
There's a Crab Farm Winery (dress nicely and pontificate about NZ wines, which are usually spectacular and hard to not pontificate about). They also claim to be the King Crab capital of the world (dress nicely with a crown and make a supreme effort at learning to disdainfully pronounce fesh'n'cheps correctly - I am available on Skype if you need a tutorial).
posted by malibustacey9999 at 5:47 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Crabby old fisherman, definitely! A lot of these ideas are cute, but not sexy, and you ARE trying to impress this woman, right? With a net full of cute plush crab toys or something - you could even buy some wholesale crab toys to keep in your net and give to people. Anything that gives you an excuse to flirt instead of just feeling goofy!
posted by 168 at 6:05 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by 168 at 6:05 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Get four splits of red wine. Tape two to each hand like pincers. You are: Crab Sauvignon.
posted by samofidelis at 6:06 AM on July 19, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by samofidelis at 6:06 AM on July 19, 2012 [4 favorites]
Get a big box, paint it yellow, put on a red hat, and go as a tin of Old Bay Seasoning.
posted by jquinby at 6:19 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by jquinby at 6:19 AM on July 19, 2012
Why not a pair of claw oven mitts to any of the previous suggestions?
posted by troika at 6:26 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by troika at 6:26 AM on July 19, 2012
1. obtain rope netting and some plastic toy crabs
2. cut hole in the center of the netting for your head, arm holes if necessary
3. glue or tie crabs to the netting
4. wear what you would normally wear to be comfortable and place the netting over your head poncho-style
5. party!
bonus 6: yellow fisherman's hat!
posted by ghostbikes at 6:42 AM on July 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
2. cut hole in the center of the netting for your head, arm holes if necessary
3. glue or tie crabs to the netting
4. wear what you would normally wear to be comfortable and place the netting over your head poncho-style
5. party!
bonus 6: yellow fisherman's hat!
posted by ghostbikes at 6:42 AM on July 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
This guy made a crab costume that involves Pringles cans for the various legs, but I think wearing it to a party in someone's house would be difficult.
Now I kind of want to have a dress-as-a-crustacean party.
posted by catlet at 7:00 AM on July 19, 2012
Now I kind of want to have a dress-as-a-crustacean party.
posted by catlet at 7:00 AM on July 19, 2012
Are you crafty? I would just dress more or less normally but wear antenna and crab claws that are the correct scale for your body size - big as watermelons. The claws will be made of sewn foam sheets (like the stuff that goes under carpeting - you can get it at art/craft stores and the like) painted crab color and will cover your forearms and hands but extend farther than your hands. The pincer of your hand will be where the pincer of the claw is, and it will be a great sight gag when you drink your beer.
posted by dirtdirt at 7:04 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by dirtdirt at 7:04 AM on July 19, 2012
Pretty much anything from this store, but I was specifically thinking of this "Don't Bother Me, I'm Crabby" t-shirt (or a variation). Or this lovely chapeau, only $5.99.
posted by Madamina at 7:25 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by Madamina at 7:25 AM on July 19, 2012
You could be a crabpot or a raw chicken neck (bait) or a steamer pot or a wooden mallet.
posted by caclwmr4 at 8:17 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by caclwmr4 at 8:17 AM on July 19, 2012
Go as Oscar the Grouch. He's crabby as hell.
posted by that's candlepin at 8:28 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by that's candlepin at 8:28 AM on July 19, 2012
You could go in a costume comprised of a bucket (kind of like this) with some other crabs crawling out of it, and go as "crab mentality" - or, "Crabs in a bucket."
posted by peagood at 8:35 AM on July 19, 2012
posted by peagood at 8:35 AM on July 19, 2012
Something kooky that doesn't require me to dress up like a crab would be appreciated
There are several possible ways you could approach this party, both in regards to your costume and your attitude. It's harder because you don't know the other people going to the party, so the specific expectations of your costume aren't entirely clear. But that doesn't mean that your best course of action isn't clear if you want to impress this girl. Here's a breakdown of what I would think of you, given the various scenarios:
- average costume, kinda seems embarrassed about it: dude's not into the kind of parties I throw, probably not right for me
- average costume, having fun: decent guy, probably worth seeing more
- underwhelming costume, happy attitude: meh, dude's kinda lame for not trying harder
- underwhelming costume, seems grumpy now that he realizes he should have tried harder: definitely don't want to see him again
- put way too much effort into costume, sulking about it: dude's trying too hard, kinda weird, definitely don't want to see him again
- put way too much effort into costume, but rocking it and having fun: dude is fun and exciting and positive and I would totally hang out with him again
Honestly the 2 keys here are to take the costume mission seriously (I really don't think you can go overboard in a way that would hurt you, as long as you don't go for a pubic crabs reference), and have FUN with it no matter what. The goal isn't to look good in tights, it's to prove that you can have fun even if you don't look sexy that day.
posted by vytae at 8:58 AM on July 19, 2012 [4 favorites]
There are several possible ways you could approach this party, both in regards to your costume and your attitude. It's harder because you don't know the other people going to the party, so the specific expectations of your costume aren't entirely clear. But that doesn't mean that your best course of action isn't clear if you want to impress this girl. Here's a breakdown of what I would think of you, given the various scenarios:
- average costume, kinda seems embarrassed about it: dude's not into the kind of parties I throw, probably not right for me
- average costume, having fun: decent guy, probably worth seeing more
- underwhelming costume, happy attitude: meh, dude's kinda lame for not trying harder
- underwhelming costume, seems grumpy now that he realizes he should have tried harder: definitely don't want to see him again
- put way too much effort into costume, sulking about it: dude's trying too hard, kinda weird, definitely don't want to see him again
- put way too much effort into costume, but rocking it and having fun: dude is fun and exciting and positive and I would totally hang out with him again
Honestly the 2 keys here are to take the costume mission seriously (I really don't think you can go overboard in a way that would hurt you, as long as you don't go for a pubic crabs reference), and have FUN with it no matter what. The goal isn't to look good in tights, it's to prove that you can have fun even if you don't look sexy that day.
posted by vytae at 8:58 AM on July 19, 2012 [4 favorites]
If you go as a crab fisherman with the waders and all, carry around a crab trap with all sorts of good crab snacks inside. You'll be a hit for contributing.
posted by Vaike at 12:01 PM on July 19, 2012
posted by Vaike at 12:01 PM on July 19, 2012
Um, sorry to be a downer, but no one else has brought this up, so: are you sure she didn't mean a regular costume party where you also eat a lot of crab? That could be a really embarrassing mix-up.
posted by kitcat at 12:14 PM on July 19, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by kitcat at 12:14 PM on July 19, 2012 [3 favorites]
I have a Jim Carroll spoken word CD where he does a bit about crabs (the STD) being the "papillon d'amour". You could dress as a butterfly with hearts on it?
posted by bendy at 12:20 PM on July 19, 2012
posted by bendy at 12:20 PM on July 19, 2012
Buy some red fabric and fake fur. Glue fake fur around the edge and fasten your new cape in the front. Make yourself a paper crown and make some sort of claw like thing for your hands. No tights, comfortable clothes under your cape and you can still easily drink. King crab.
posted by Foam Pants at 2:51 PM on July 19, 2012
posted by Foam Pants at 2:51 PM on July 19, 2012
Do people still know what crab louie is? Because then you could just go as the love child of Louis CK and a crustacean.
posted by oneirodynia at 3:24 PM on July 19, 2012
posted by oneirodynia at 3:24 PM on July 19, 2012
I did think of Crab Farm Winery, but a search of all the NY wine stores I could find online shows no one stocks them - they are just a small family winery. They are ten minutes away from me, but postage costs + delivery times kind of rule out me sending you a bottle (I checked!)
Still, there's a heck of a lot of great Kiwi wine available out there, it might be a nice gesture to take her a bottle for the party - maybe you can find one from her home town, if you know it.
I would avoid any of the "crabs as STD" gags, not exactly romance-inducing, eh?
Perspective as a once-hard-partying NZ woman - If I were going to a party like this, I would wear something quirky, but not OTT (tights and a full on crab costume would be OTT) - we are more about creativity and making a little do a lot - and I would make my costume easily removable/disposable so that at 2am when the cool kids want to cut loose from the herd and head to a bar, you can ride along with the posse.
Good luck!
posted by Catch at 4:06 PM on July 19, 2012
Still, there's a heck of a lot of great Kiwi wine available out there, it might be a nice gesture to take her a bottle for the party - maybe you can find one from her home town, if you know it.
I would avoid any of the "crabs as STD" gags, not exactly romance-inducing, eh?
Perspective as a once-hard-partying NZ woman - If I were going to a party like this, I would wear something quirky, but not OTT (tights and a full on crab costume would be OTT) - we are more about creativity and making a little do a lot - and I would make my costume easily removable/disposable so that at 2am when the cool kids want to cut loose from the herd and head to a bar, you can ride along with the posse.
Good luck!
posted by Catch at 4:06 PM on July 19, 2012
are you sure she didn't mean a regular costume party where you also eat a lot of crab? That could be a really embarrassing mix-up.
Agree to disagree. This would be a hilariously awesome mix-up that would be the stuff of romantic comedy legend.
posted by Quincy at 4:18 PM on July 19, 2012 [3 favorites]
Agree to disagree. This would be a hilariously awesome mix-up that would be the stuff of romantic comedy legend.
posted by Quincy at 4:18 PM on July 19, 2012 [3 favorites]
Wear a name tag the states you are from: CRAB - Centralized Requisition Accounting & Billing
Very exciting!
posted by ecorrocio at 5:51 PM on July 19, 2012
Very exciting!
posted by ecorrocio at 5:51 PM on July 19, 2012
Who's you favorite crab? Oscar the Grouch? Charles Grodin? Andy Rooney? Everett True? Ed Asner?
Remember those boppers everyone wore on their head in the 80s? (Now that I see you're in your 20s, I don't think you do). Yes, 'deely-bobbers' they were called! I called them boppers. Anyway, people wore these headbands that resembled martian/insect antennae. Or, crab eye stalks if you will! Get your claws on one of them, draw some eyes on the balled tips (boppers did have variously-shaped tips but there were ones that just had orbs, which is what you should shoot for) of the antennae.. INSTANT CONSTUME! All you need are the eye stalks to be a crab. Try a party supply store for all your deely-bobbing needs.
posted by Mael Oui at 9:59 PM on July 19, 2012
Remember those boppers everyone wore on their head in the 80s? (Now that I see you're in your 20s, I don't think you do). Yes, 'deely-bobbers' they were called! I called them boppers. Anyway, people wore these headbands that resembled martian/insect antennae. Or, crab eye stalks if you will! Get your claws on one of them, draw some eyes on the balled tips (boppers did have variously-shaped tips but there were ones that just had orbs, which is what you should shoot for) of the antennae.. INSTANT CONSTUME! All you need are the eye stalks to be a crab. Try a party supply store for all your deely-bobbing needs.
posted by Mael Oui at 9:59 PM on July 19, 2012
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posted by omnigut at 2:37 AM on July 19, 2012 [1 favorite]