Am I afraid or just not that into him?
July 17, 2012 6:35 PM Subscribe
Is this a sign that it's not a good match or am I just afraid of intimacy after my last relationship?
posted by abirdinthehand to Human Relations (13 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
So, I started dating someone I know through friends. Initially we seemed to have chemistry, but since we've started actually dating it's become awkward - not all the time, but definitely more than I would like or expect. We've now been seeing each other mostly once a week for about 2 months.
We have moments where we are really connecting and do have fun together, but this weirdness pops up here and there. I have never had a relationship progress this way. I am feeling more and more anxious and confused since the weirdness seems to be at a constant level, not tapering off.
Last week I randomly ran into him at my work and even though I had just been thinking about him, I didn't show my excitement to see him, in fact just the opposite. I think I came across as cold or perhaps indifferent. Afterwards I was kicking myself for not asking him what he was doing this weekend and showing my interest.
I am not used to taking things slow, but am trying to do something different here, maybe that's why I'm so turned around. In the past, I would just dive in and get all intense-- which generally has not worked so well, my last relationship was a real wake up call.
I'm really like him and want to get to know him more, but find myself shutting down, feeling kind of foggy around him, particularly when others are there. Something feels off, I'm not at ease and am more reserved than normal. I can't tell if it's because I feel vulnerable or we just don't click! This uncertainty is becoming more frustrating than fun.
It's bizarre, I feel so out of sorts, I mean, he's laid back, easy to talk to, I respect him as a person, we share interests and values, I'm very attracted to him-- why am I acting like a wacko?