Love isn't just a four letter word
July 13, 2012 6:38 PM Subscribe
A male married friend recently told me he loved me. A few weeks later he told me again
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (21 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I’m also in a relationship but not married. (I'm a 28 year old straight women, he's in his mid-30's)
Both times this happened was after we’d been out late with a group of friends and we were saying our goodbyes. However, both times felt somewhat intimate. Neither of our respective S/O’s were around at the moment the “I love you” came out (while we were hugging goodbye.) The second time I told him I loved him too. It was totally sweet, nothing else happened at all… and I’m feeling guilty.
Both our partners are awesome people, and we’re all good friends.
He and I have become closer friends lately, and I believe there is some mutual attraction. I’m OK with that - I fall in the camp of "It's OK to be a little flirty and have crushes sometimes but I would never consider cheating on my boyfriend," but I wonder if saying “I love you,” like this is crossing a boundary.
I have other friends that I say “I love you” to. Yes, many of these friends are girlfriends, but I’ve told other male friends I love them in a platonic way (that felt totally platonic.)
This is the first time it’s made me feel like “whoa, did he mean it like LOVE love?” And that maybe saying I love you to married male friends is not such a great idea.
I'll admit it- it felt good to know he said that- I mean, it's great to know that you are loved! But, this is new territory for me. (Or maybe I'm just making it too big of a thing.)
If you’re married or in a relationship, would you tell still tell your friends (of the gender that you’re attracted to) that you love them? Would this be OK with your partner? I’m confused. Love is a big word. How do you use it?