Join 3,424 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Chance for a change... good? or bad?
July 10, 2012 3:15 PM   Subscribe

My best friend is leaving her job at a local, well established physician’s office, and the position could be mine, as I understand it. In my head, there aren’t many downsides, but my SO thinks otherwise. Am I just blocking out major downsides because I feel like I want out of my current job? I feel if I go against my SO’s wishes I’ll never be allowed to have a bad day and rely on him, but I also don’t want to resent him for stopping me from making a switch if I become even more unhappy with my current position in the future. What to do?

My best friend is leaving her entry level job at an established doctor’s office in my city to go to grad school. As I understand it, the office hires based on recommendation most often, and it is likely that I could get this position easily, especially since I currently work in healthcare, just a different area. The hitch. My boyfriend continues to tell me that he thinks it is a bad idea whenever I bring up the possibility. I currently work at a very large corporation, and while I have to keep up with licensing and certifications for my position, people in our job title are still frequently treated like we are the bottom of the totem pole, or entry level. His big argument is that it is a step down, regardless of how we are treated here, and that I have more opportunity for advancement where I am. My rebuttal: I have recently been up for a promotion, interviewed 3 times over the course of 6 weeks, told that I was a shoe in for one of the positions by my supervisor and that it was all but decided, and then never heard a single word regarding the promotion (neither did the other remaining candidate), it has been 2 months since our “final” interview. This makes me think that the opportunity for advancement he seems to think is possible, is not as likely as it may seem. It also may be relevant to add that the corporation I work for has recently been bought out by another large corporation, making it one gigantic corporation, and while we haven’t had any bad news, there is still that possibility in all our heads here that our location could be shut down any day now.

I’ll try to outline the pro’s and con’s as unbiased as I can, for taking my friends position.

Pros :
No more corporate politics!! (Honestly this is a really big deal for me)
Way closer to home! (I could even go home on lunch! No gas worries!)
Active work day! (No more sitting in front of a computer all day long packin on the pounds)
Local owned and operated! (maybe even a little respect!)
Biannual wardrobe stipend! (woohoo!)
Christmas Bonus!
Currently not much space for advancement, but they always promote from within, so if someone did retire, it is more likely I would have a chance at moving up
No more awful emails telling me things like I can’t read my kindle on my way to the break room!
Better hours! (8-5, Monday – Friday, yes!)

Cons:
Most likely I would be starting at about .70 cents less than I currently make
My current job has small quarterly bonuses (at least for now)
“Step backwards” career wise
Office full of women, have been warned against cattiness within
Would be busier on a daily basis, so potential for more stress
Boyfriend is pessimistic

I will say that my friend still complains about her job on a normal basis, but I feel like that is a given with any job. Not to mention, she is my best friend, and she wouldn’t let me take this job if she thought I was going to be miserable, or if it was something I couldn’t handle.

Also this may be helpful: neither of these jobs is what I want to “do” for the rest of my life, but is just what I do to get by. I’ve never considered what I am currently doing a “career” just a way to make ends meet. Potential for going back to finish school. Also finishing up a program in very specific field that I will be focusing on, on the side and always hoping for an opportunity to move into that field full time.

So MeFites… what should I do?
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (20 answers total)
 
As a general rule, you take a job because it would make you happy. You never turn down a job because it would make your boyfriend unhappy.

I feel if I go against my SO’s wishes I’ll never be allowed to have a bad day and rely on him

You need to clarify this. If you're making this up, you need to get over that idea ASAP because that is not how healthy relationships work. If he actually feels this way, you need to break up with him post haste.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:21 PM on July 10, 2012 [35 favorites]


I feel if I go against my SO’s wishes I’ll never be allowed to have a bad day and rely on him.

Please don't think this of you SO without talking to him/her first. I've advised for and against job changes before, but was supportive of decisions that weren't mine to make. Your SO should be supportive of what is clearly a decision for you to make. Particularly because you are able to list multiple pros to compare to the cons.

Alternatively, if you're certain your SO will be unsupportive, you may want to rethink him or her...
posted by bessel functions seem unnecessarily complicated at 3:22 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yep, take the job, dump the boyfriend.
posted by peep at 3:23 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


No more corporate politics!! (Honestly this is a really big deal for me)

Get ready for the smaller fishbowl version of corporate politics!
Also small businesses tend to not stick to that 40 hour work week so well.

It sounds like his big complaint is no opportunity for advancement at a job you don't want to be at long term? Sounds like not a very big problem.

I would find out if they do scheduled raises if you're worried about an income drop.
posted by edbles at 3:24 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


70¢ an hour isn't a lot (although a tenth of that was enough to spawn a popular book and a musical in the 50's). It's $28/week. The pro's you mention sound like they'd easily be worth that much to you. And you might even make it back in fuel and food savings.
posted by ubiquity at 3:33 PM on July 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


His big argument is that it is a step down, regardless of how we are treated here, and that I have more opportunity for advancement where I am.

I am reading this to say that your SO also works where you work? That may be a reason he doesn't want you to leave, and it may not be with your best interests in mind.

But I can assure you, having worked in both environments, that you need to remove "No more corporate politics!!" from the "pros" column, especially when combined with "Office full of women, have been warned against cattiness within."

For what it's worth there's only so much moving up you can do in a doctor's office, unless you go to med school. And I'm not sure how the skills apply to your future career goals beyond administrative work.
posted by headnsouth at 3:35 PM on July 10, 2012


Who cares if there's no opportunity for advancement if it's not what you want to do long term? I would totally take the job and then resolve not to get sucked into any interpersonal drama there no matter what. Are you sure your boyfriend is this much of a jerk? If so, that's another AskMe, but definitely not a reason not to take the job.
posted by HotToddy at 3:37 PM on July 10, 2012


If the benefits package is comparable, take new job.
posted by Fig at 3:41 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


When are you thinking of going back to school? In the next 1-2 years? How related to what you do now is what you're going to school for? Change can be fun sometimes, but if you hate your current job because it's dead-end, I don't see how moving to this particular job is going to make you feel any better. And your pro/con list seems a little "More work! Less money!" to me. I'm not really sold (although working close to home is nice, FWIW). Perhaps you should go back to the drawing board and think about making your next move a little more strategic for your hopes and dreams, instead of just an escape chute.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:42 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Are there benefits with either job? As long as the new job isn't a huge step down, benefits-wise, take it.

Office full of women, have been warned against cattiness within
Who told you this, your friend? Or is it one of the things your SO is warning you against?
posted by coupdefoudre at 3:47 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Your BF needs to butt out and you need to review your pros and cons without his comments considered. It's your job, your time, your life.
posted by fivesavagepalms at 3:49 PM on July 10, 2012


What are the official benefits of the small office, if any? Small offices tend to have less vacation/benefits, and I don't know about the health care on this one either. And smaller offices tend to be a lot more nitpicky about how things are done, when you need to be out for an appointment for an hour, etc. Those might be factors.

Most of this sounds like it's beneficial and unless you are sharing a home with the boyfriend, I think it's more your business than his there. I suspect you probably do, though, but... shoot, it's your life, not his. Right now it doesn't sound too bad, so what's he freaking about?
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:58 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


1) you don't really say WHY your boyfriend thinks this job is not great. I'm not sure if the cons you list are yours or his. So it's really hard to judge. Maybe he has great reasons.
2) since you want to go back to school... Do either of these companies provide tuition assistance? Most large corporations do (in my area, at least). If yours does, stick it out there and get your degree. That is a huge benefit worth taking advantage of.
posted by smalls at 4:10 PM on July 10, 2012


Currently not much space for advancement, but they always promote from within, so if someone did retire, it is more likely I would have a chance at moving up

You shouldn't simultaneously be concerned about "advancement" and "moving up" and whether you're at the bottom of the totem pole or not (you totally will be in the doctor's office, and to a larger degree than you are now). You should instead be focusing on what is the best way for you to finish your schooling. To my mind, that's probably the doctor's office, since there will be easier hours and (hopefully) lower stress allowing you to concentrate on going back to school. Unless there are some financial benefits that your current company provides to help you finish your degree, it doesn't sound like your current job will help that along. Also, the doctor's office will not be a place for you to make a career out of. If you want "advancement", you should be applying to jobs at different companies, not applying to other, lower-paying entry level jobs like you are now.

Your boyfriend is being totally unhelpful and unsupportive, but that's a different matter.
posted by deanc at 4:15 PM on July 10, 2012


You're the one who has to go to this job every day. What's the decision that you think will make your life more like the life you want to be living right now? Do that thing.

A good boyfriend would support your decision, even if you turn out to make a mistake. None of us knows for sure what's coming, and some decisions you have to make for yourself. How to spend half your waking time is one of those decisions.
posted by Andrhia at 4:19 PM on July 10, 2012


If I am reading this correctly, you haven't interviewed or been offered the job yet, correct? Although your friend's recommendation would carry weight?

Also, some of the things that things that are pros and cons can probably be negotiated. I would actually go to the interview, get answers to your questions, and look at your list a bit harder. Gush about everything until you have data that says don't take it or you are or are not offered it.Here is how I would think about your list of pros and cons if it would help (trying to tailor it to you from what I can glean from your question):

• No more corporate politics! What? There is always work politics -different work politics, but it will always be there. I would not have this on a list unless you detest a current supervisor or coworkers (and even then,y ou are rolling dice).

• Local owned and operated! (maybe even a little respect!) Unless you are the owner or the offspring of the owner, this has no impact on you.I would take this off the list.

• Currently not much space for advancement, but they always promote from within, so if someone did retire, it is more likely I would have a chance at moving up. It sounds like you are also upset because you were not promoted, no? If you are offered this new position, guess what? You may be able to negotiate something you want like salary and/or position at your old position. I've seen it happen for some people. For whatever reason, employers realize you are valuable when someone else wants to hire you. Go to the interview, find out what they have to offer...and remember you already have a job and if you decide that your place would be okay with the promotion mention it/Also be prepared to go to the new place if you start this, but this is not an absolute.

• No more awful emails telling me things like I can’t read my kindle on my way to the break room! This may be replaced by new office politics, this should not be on a list other than escape OCD employee 1 and company 1 (who knows what is at company 2).


Cons:

• Most likely I would be starting at about .70 cents less than I currently make
Remember, you can negotiate. You are enthusiastic about the job. You think that you are a good fit. But you are not quite sure because of the salary. Wait until the job is offered to you and you can negotiate this.


• My current job has small quarterly bonuses (at least for now) Remember to say this when you are negotiating for salary. Look at you salary, benefits (include vacation days), bonuses, etc.

• “Step backwards” career wise Based on what? I'm not sure where that is explained. Didn't you say both jobs are not what you want to do long-term? This is minor. You can often learn new skills at a job, etc., do well and ask for it if the opportunities present themselves. If you don't want to do this in the long-term, no one will care in your next field if you were Lab Coat Associate, Lab Coat Director, etc, unless you want to be in that field.
posted by Wolfster at 4:25 PM on July 10, 2012


what should I do?
Go on the interview, and re-address. Many of your pros are not guaranteed, nor are your cons, and just because you/your friend think you won't be miserable, doesn't mean that you won't.

Is advancement the only reason your boyfriend thinks this would be a bad move? Personally, you didn't convince me that this would be a good idea (and granted, you don't have to convince anyone) and I'm just wondering if he has other reasons and if he's really terribly un-supportive of a career change. I wouldn't entirely discount his opinion unless the relationship is fairly new, but perhaps that's just me?
posted by sm1tten at 5:10 PM on July 10, 2012


Boyfriend as in: you live together, share finances, own a home together, etc.? Or boyfriend: you date exclusively, only share rent, etc.

If the former, then speaking about the finances of the new job would be valid. Can you still contribute to the household, etc.

If the latter, well, listen to him, thank him for his input and then do what you decide for yourself.

You sound excited about the new job. The time and money saved with the lack of commute can be put to use. I think you should apply.
posted by Vaike at 6:05 PM on July 10, 2012


If you score an interview, go and interview.

Bring up your concerns. See if you like your new potential boss. The interview is as much them seeing whether they might like for you to work with them as it is you determining whether you'd like to work with them. I've been to bunches of interviews where I left knowing that I WILL NOT want to work with the person who'd end up being my "boss."

You won't know until you have met your new potential boss, and is applicable, new potential workmates.
posted by porpoise at 7:41 PM on July 10, 2012


One plus I've found working at smaller places is the abilty to learn new things. To obtain coverage for vacations, etc you will be trained to do many tasks you wouldn't otherwise get to learn. It can be very useful.
posted by readery at 8:09 PM on July 10, 2012


« Older Heading to St. Petersburg, Rus...   |  How to find out whether histor... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.