Should twitter be for more than following hot women?
July 5, 2012 4:46 PM Subscribe
I'm bothered that my friend follows mostly hot girls on twitter; how do I deal with this?
posted by anonymous to human relations (55 answers total)
Question pretty much says it all. I hate that this is a thing, but it is. I'm a woman, my friend is a man. We've gotten to be increasingly close, to the point where he says things like I know him better than anyone else and he tells me things he doesn't tell other people and so on. I don't feel like he knows me that well. We go through periods of intense, contant contact that then drops off. We've fooled around. He lives far enough away that I don't see him all the time, but close enough that if I wanted to I could see him any given day. I had really liked him at one point-he does have his good points-but now especially I am put off. This is all just context for the friendship.
I do not have a Twitter account. He does. I do read his from time to time and today I clicked on his "following" tab for the first time. He is following nearly 1000 people and most of them are hot women. 10 or 12 hot, young women in a row before another type of account and then it's another dozen women. Repeat. This really, really bothers me, to the point where I am put off and don't really want to see him now. I don't know if I should say something or not. I am a hardcore feminist--I will not even date someone who watches mainstream porn--and this has really changed how I view him. BUT! Maybe I'm overreacting. I don't know if I should say anything or if I should just stop having any contact with him. If I say something, I am pretty sure it would make him mad. He has a short temper and I don't really have any basis to criticize his behavior; we are not in a relationship (and I do not want to be) and I think it might just seem weird that I was looking at who he follows on twitter and disapproving of it. Most of these women are not following him, so I guess he searches out hot women and then adds them.
We've had some arguments in the past regarding gender issues (he will make infuriating blanket statements about women wanting men to buy them things and how women treat him so badly) so I don't think I'm too far off the mark to think that having a list of mostly hot women in his twitter is indicative of him valuing women for looks more than anything. I can't quite articulate it but I am really exasperated right now.
Please don't give me any answers about how men are programmed to look at hot women and that I need to get over that. This is not a helpful answer at all and I don't think it's an excuse. I want to know whether I should say anything to him about it, what I should say, if I should bother salvaging the friendship or not, and insights into why this might or might not be okay. Thanks.