How to get my emotions to move on after a break up?
June 24, 2012 8:56 AM Subscribe
I know what I need to do to move on from a break up, but why do I still feel depressed and upset about it?
posted by neveroddoreven to human relations (20 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I've been reading a lot of the advice on here, and I've been following the steps to break up survival well, but I still feel sharp bites of depression and pain that things aren't going to be okay. A bit of background below.
I dated my GF for 2 years, and we lived together during the final 6 months. Two months ago, she admitted that she was worried that she had strong feelings for her friend, that her life was a mess, and that she needed space. I did not see this coming and thought we had the best relationship ever. So, I was upset and needy. I fought to keep her back, even offering to go to therapy with her, but she didn't want me to. I moved out and after two weeks, I got the picture, and cut off all contact in hopes that one day we'd get back together. Two weeks later, I made the mistake of driving by her house and saw the car of her friend parked outside in the early AM. I knew then that her time was for exploring this person. I immediately understood that I never want to get back with her.
I moved the rest of my things out of her house soon after and she contacted me to finalize ending the lease, etc. I got that sorted, and we haven't spoken since. I have no plans to ever speak with her again. This was about 3 weeks ago.
I've been focusing on work and exercise a lot lately. I’ve been visiting with old time friends, and I've been also focusing a lot on reading about new things and learning. I got rid of everything that reminded me of her and us. So I feel that I'm doing all the right things I need to.
My question is that I know this isn't going to be easy, but when doing the right steps to move on, how can I get my emotions to follow suit? Sometimes the feelings are so strong that I want to sulk and cry, but I know mentally that I was not respected in the relationship and I don't want that person anymore. It’s been very confusing for me, as this isn’t my first break up, and I haven’t had strong negative feelings like this before.