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June 19, 2012 6:53 AM Subscribe
Asking for a Friend/CoWorker: Boss and underling develop feelings for each. Both break it off, but now friend is feeling hurt and rejected. What advice can I give her?
posted by Danithegirl to Human Relations (19 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My friend works at the same law firm as me, and has put herself in an awkward position. Over the past few months she had been very friendly with her boss and over the recent weeks it had turned into overtly flirting. She says she doesn’t have feelings for her boss, but that there was strong tension between them.
I don’t know the full story, but over the weekend she had decided enough was enough after a lawyer caught them chatting (she insists nothing physical happened between them, but there was lots of texting and their topics of conversation crossed over the professional line).
I assume her boss felt the same way, because he started acting cold towards her this week. On the one hand she tells me she’s okay with this but is saddened by his lack of emotion towards her. I suspect she started to develop feelings for him, as he most likely did her.
Now she’s coming to me for advice. She understands the need to be professional (for both of their jobs), but she feels having him distant and stand offish will make her just as upset. She makes a good wage and has friends(me!) at this job but feels like leaving if it’s going to be like this.
I asked her if she wanted to sleep with him and she stated no, but she seems confused and most definitely hurt. What should I tell her?
My opinion is to stick with it - I understand that flirting happens, but I think she's taking it too personally. I know this lawyer and he is married and seems happily so. BUT -- I know what it's like to fall for someone and I'd like to tell her more then "Suck it up".