Fixing a Relationship I Broke
June 17, 2012 7:40 PM Subscribe
Broke up with my girlfriend, but want her back. She's moving away. Some inter-faith drama as well. Thoughts?
posted by kilbasar to Human Relations (35 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a 27 year old male. I dated an incredible girl for 3.5 years. We loved each other, got along splendidly, and generally had an amazing time together. Unfortunately, I'm from a religious Jewish family (personally an Atheist), and she's (non-practicing) Catholic. I struggled to reconcile it with my family, even though she eventually agreed to convert for marriage. My parents were constantly guilting me and questioning where things were going and when she would convert, and I never found the guts to tell my grandparents (Holocaust survivors) or extended family about the relationship, and kept her a secret for all those years. Further, she was never happy in our city, and always wanted to travel more. Although I'm open to moving, I couldn't move until I came clean to my family, which I was unable to do. And her unhappiness with the situation only added to my guilt.
Eventually the stress, guilt, and anxiety of the situation got to me. I was having panic attacks, and abusing pot. Finally I broke up with her, to escape my problems.
That was 3 months ago. We've barely spoken. Since then I've tried to fix myself and my life. I quit pot, started going to a therapist, got into shape, and finally came clean to my grandparents, which went better than I expected. They even said that if I still love her, I should reach out to her. For the first time in forever, I feel good about myself, and I feel like I could make things work between us.
Unfortunately, she's moving away. She quit her job, and is planning to travel the world for at least half a year, and then move somewhere that's not here. I contacted her a month ago saying I wanted to talk, but she wasn't ready. She finally set up a meeting a few days from now, and less than a week before she leaves.
What can I say to get her back? Although I'm willing to move to be with her, I couldn't do it without first having a few months for my family to get to know her, and make things right. I would also need time to wind things up at my job, and time for us to re-establish what we once had. Feel free to ask for more details. Thanks!