mojo...where art thou?

June 17, 2012 11:51 AM

Post-separation/divorce depression...need a good therapist in Vancouver, BC. And also just general advice on getting back on my feet.

I'm stuck in a rut. Not motivated to do anything with my life after my marriage failed quite catastrophically. I don't see friends, family, don't do anything anymore.

Can someone please recommend a good therapist in this vein?

And also any advice on how to get my groove back?

posted by wutangclan to human relations (5 answers total)

...any advice on how to get my groove back?

Can you think of a big dream you had but gave up on because it seemed impossible? Maybe one that seemed impossible because you were married, or because of issues in your particular marriage? If you can, consider pursuing that dream now.
posted by jon1270 at 2:17 PM on June 17, 2012

Do something that you never imagined doing. Maybe it scares you a little, maybe you think it's a little silly. Do it anyway and get good at it. Once you conquer that you will feel like you can take on the world.

I threw myself in to rock climbing the summer after my divorce. It gave me something to focus on and I felt really good about myself afterwards.

I use the counseling service of Wilson Banwell because my employer pays for it-- so I don't know if you can just walk in and make an appointment. When I was going through my divorce and then grieving the loss of two friends right afterwards, I saw a woman there who I loved. Her name is Alla, but I can't remember her last name. Anyway, if you call Wilson Banwell, and ask for her, they will know who you mean. She worked out of their Burrard St. (in the Marine building) location. Often the counselors there will have their own private practice too, so you could ask if they would give you her phone number.
posted by sadtomato at 6:58 PM on June 17, 2012

I'm so sorry to hear about this... it sounds tremendously painful. I don't know any therapists in your area, but I would say this would not be a bad time to consider antidepressants if you're not on them - you're going to go through a long period of pain either way, you might as well take the edge off. They work better in addition to therapy, but you seem to already be looking for that. There's not a whole lot you can do to get your groove back immediately, but you may need to force yourself into some behavioral activation, and starting by making time with your most caring family member or friend, who'll be willing to just sit with you and not be demanding, is a good start...
posted by namesarehard at 11:49 PM on June 17, 2012

I'm of the opinion that antidepressants are a bad idea, at least in your case. You are depressed. It is entirely normal to be depressed in your situation. I say this with a bias. Coming off of anti depressants was one of the hardest things I've ever done; I started on them looking for a magic bullet for my problems and it ended up creating more problems than they ever solved.

I'm in Vancouver too, so I'll give you Vancouver tips:

Exercise! Get the endorphins flowing naturally. Run around the Sea Wall. Take as many walk breaks as you need.

Do the Grouse Grind.

Go to yyoga for a trial membership. Go every single day. Wring the funk out of you.

Enroll in a cooking class at the dirty apron for a seriously life altering session.

Go out of your way to get the best donuts in the history of donuts at the 49th Parallel .

It will get better. You will get better. Just give it time.

posted by dobie at 3:27 PM on June 19, 2012

hi, wutangclan. while i don't know therapists in van, i can recommend a book that really, truly helped me through my divorce (vancouver public library owns it -- and you can borrow it). the book is "why relationships end, and how to live through the ending of yours" by daphne rose kingsma. i saw a counselor (free, at my college) when i went through my divorce. i think the book helped more. what really helped was talking with other divorced people, time (yes, cliche), and my dog (biggest help). having something to leave the house for was huge.

good luck.
posted by tamarack at 8:19 PM on July 26, 2012