I had a peeper at my window. I suspect someone I barely know. How to proceed?
posted by alltomorrowsparties to law & government (17 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
A couple of months ago, I was awoken by my puppy barking. I had just fallen asleep, so I was groggy. I thought initially that it was raccoons on my porch (I have a front porch that faces the street and my bedroom window faces out on this porch) but I saw movement and got up to go and see. Again, I was groggy and disoriented at the time.
A few words about my living situation. I share a house with two younger women, in their early twenties (I'm a woman in her forties and one of the young women is my daughter). They have numerous friends in the punk rock community here. They have had some of these people by here, not a problem for me, ever. I like most of their friends and we live in a funky type community, we are on the major bike path, near a skatepark, and there's a lot of bike, board, and pedestrian traffic. I've always felt safe, though, and know most of my neighbours. We are all pretty visible around the area.
Anyway, so when I saw someone out there, my first thought was that it was one of their friends dropping by at an inappropriate time. I got up and went to the window. Our house had been really hot for days, so I had the top transom on the window open but my curtains closed. There was a man outside right up by my window, and my first thought was that he had a black toque on, and my boyfriend wears one, so maybe it was him, no, not him, OMG that's a balaclava WTF?! The guy told me he just wanted to watch me while he jerked off. Yuck. I then looked down and saw that's what he was doing, pulled the curtains closed and left the room. I woke up the girls, we went back, he was gone. I called the police who arrived with dogs and everything but did not catch him.
This creep had had his hand right inside my window and left a big thumb/palm print. Forensics came and took the print the next day. I submitted my report to the police but I've not heard anything since.
At first, I did not take it too seriously. I was just starting my final exams, no one was hurt, it was just dumb. Then about two or three days later, the shock of it really sank in. I began going over every detail I could remember and looking at every male passer-by with suspicion.
One detail that stuck in my mind (the entire thing went down in seconds, and the details are fuzzy at best)was an impression that this was a punk kid, perhaps some patches on the bottom of his jacket, perhaps some studs...it's not clear to me even now, but it was an impression. A couple of weeks later, my boyfriend and I were walking my dog by the skatepark and one of the girls' friends was there and engaged us in conversation. I saw his jacket, and I flashed on that night. I walked away and left my bf talking to him.
I told my room mate about it and she said she would keep an ear out. This week, I went for coffee with my daughter's ex-boyfriend, let's call him Steve, who is currently room mates with the guy, let's call him Bob, who I had suspicions about. I had not intended to talk to Steve about this, but it came up in conversation. Steve told me he saw Bob the night of the incident, and that Bob seemed sketchy and weird. He strongly suspects Bob was the 'window masturbator'.
I really don't have any evidence, or any cohesive description of the guy. I know he was over 6 feet, because his eye was level with the top transom of the window. I didn't see his face at all. I would feel terrible to place someone under investigation needlessly and these are punk kids for whom such an investigation would be really problematic. I don't want to cause a problem for anyone but I also know that someone who is doing this kind of thing needs help and may be a danger to others. I'm torn, because I have only vague impressions, no real evidence and I could well be very badly mistaken in even suspecting Bob (who has been at my home, before the incident and once after, when I was not there). I've asked the girls not to have him over here again and told them of my feelings about it. One thinks I'm crazy and Bob would never do such a thing, the other is less adamant. So, should I contact the police about my suspicions , or not?