One of those judge-my-OKCupid-profile things.
Profile is here: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/planted928
I've never had a genuinely fulfilling romantic or sexual relationship. I'm looking for both. Boyfriends = 0 and sexual experience = mostly one-(or two- or three-, perhaps)-time hookups.
I switch back and forth from having profiles on OKcupid and the more sex-oriented sites/apps. Typically when I'm on those, my profile is not particularly racy and I open myself up to dating experiences on those sites. Of course, more often what one finds there is far more short term; I'm find with that on all levels (moral, whatever else) -- except for the practical. Which is to say: if I'm looking for a boyfriend, that's not the best way to optimize my chances. Dating is a numbers game, and Grindr puts you on the opposite side of the coin.
So let's talk numbers. OKCupid tells me I get ~65 visitors/week; in the past week, I've received five messages (though two of those I slightly knew in real life-ish before we saw each other's profiles, and so I knew they weren't prospects for me). Of the other three, one said exactly nothing more than "Hello sir. How are you doing?" from someone I wasn't attracted to (I didn't respond); another wrote a couple sentences that mentioned we had things in common, though he didn't say what (at most I was sort-of attracted to him, and I wasn't going to make the effort to start up the conversation when he barely did); and the third said something flattering but weirdly distancing about me being too good-looking to be on the site (huh?) and after a few short messages we stopped talking.
I go through waves of messaging first versus allowing others to message me. My thought process goes something along the lines of, "If I want something, I need to go and get it," so I message everybody I'm interested in -- and then I get frustrated by always being the one pursuing and having any conversation or eventual meeting fizzling out on their end, so I stop messaging first. (And then after receiving rather few messages from people I'm interested in, feeling the need to write first once again...)
In general, when I write someone, I find one or maybe two things in their profile that interest me, try to make some cute-slash-slightly-funny-remark about it, and then introduce myself. Short and sweet (is the idea). In this go-round on OKcupid (last month or so?), however, I haven't met anyone off the site.
Any thoughts specifically about the profile are appreciated. Any general advice about dating for a gay man with little relationship experience (I came out 2 years ago) would also be great.