Do I let my wife's baseless jealousy interfere with my career?
June 14, 2012 5:23 PM Subscribe
Setting: My wife is (IMO irrationally) jealous, and thinks that a co-worker of mine likes me. There is nothing there, and I have told her she is worrying needlessly, but she is still suspicious.
Complication: A position recently came up at work, in an area I prefer over my current job and with better job security. BUT, this co-worker is on the team.
posted by Arandia to human relations (67 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
As stated my wife is worrying needlessly; I have zero interest in this other woman (or, for that matter, any woman but my wife!) She brought up her jealousy on this topic to me a few times, and I have reassured her (extensively) that there was nothing to worry about. She (says she) trusts me when I say that I have no feelings for this co-worker; my wife's go-to line is that she doesn't trust her (the co-worker). This makes no sense to me. Clearly anything that could possibly threaten my wife would require my involvement too, wouldn't it?
Conversations with my wife on this topic have become rather heated, largely because I don't know what else to say; I have no feelings for this woman, and my wife says she accepts and believes that! She has in fact repeated this several times, and I believe that she does trust me on this. There is also only tenuous evidence at the best that this coworker even has feelings for me. The only conclusion I can come to is that my wife is being unreasonable, but clearly she hasn't changed her mind on this topic.
Ultimately convincing my wife that there is nothing to be worried about is the long-term goal. I'm working on that.
But, in the short term I have this complication: what should I do about this job opportunity? I feel that this would only be adding fuel to an already simmering fire, no matter how illogical this fire's origin may be. At the same time, I am frustrated that my wife's (irrational) jealousy is interfering with my career. Is it foolish to even think about exploring this job opportunity given my personal circumstances? Or should I expect my wife to be more reasonable about this topic, and trust that she'll get more comfortable with time?