31 and it worries me (and familia) that I'm not yet married
June 10, 2012 12:35 PM Subscribe
Does finding a partner really get that much harder after 30? I'm a guy in my early 30s and I am starting to feel it now.
posted by blizkreeg to human relations (15 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
The facts stacked against
- we become more rigid in our preferences as we get older
- harder to give up freedom and personal space
- most people by their 30s have sustained a few battle wounds in terms of bad relationships and if they haven't done their necessary work, carry the baggage around (making it worse for their next relationship)
- just harder to meet people in general
- analysis paralysis?
On the plus side
- we have hopefully learned from our experiences, good and bad, and know better what we like/want
- financially in a better position
- we have a more mature, well-rounded personality
How did it happen for you in your 30s? I am currently talking to someone who was introduced by common friends/family and while on paper, there are no red flags and we seem compatible, our conversations lack the depth and spark that I crave. They are somewhat superficial and labored at times. Partly, it might be because we're holding back due to the "arranged/setup" nature of this vs if we had met on our own. But I wonder if we just lack the necessary chemistry. It is also long-distance. We've met twice in each others' cities.
I ask the question because I am in a dilemma if waiting out is better in the hopes of meeting someone compatible where the chemistry is better or look at settling down with someone who is good and stable?