Late night text? Next!
June 8, 2012 11:33 AM Subscribe
Is it rational that I'm turned off about receiving a first text at midnight by someone I have a 1st date coming up with?
posted by oceanview to Human Relations (69 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I have a 1st date planned for Saturday with a guy from a dating site. He messaged me his phone number via the site, and I sent him mine "in case you are running late." For me, texting is practical--i.e. i only want to text you to make plans and such. I don't like back and forth "chatting" via texting.
Anyhow, the other night he sent me a text at midnight saying "you're up late *wink*" Seems like the dating site showed me as logged in, even though i had signed out about 20 minutes past. When I saw the text I felt insulted that he thought it was OK to send someone whom he's never met a text this late, even if I was showing as awake and online. Especially since the text was borderline flirty.
Texting just feels too intimate for me at this point. If I have online chat open, that's fine because I'm showing I'm available to chat. If you text me, I feel obligated to respond and I don't like that feeling.
I replied "It's not ok to text me this late" and he apologized. I was practising being more assertive rather than my usual doormat self, even if it was at the risk of turning him off. I realize I may be out of touch with "normal" texting behavious and perhaps overreacted. Or, I may have set good boundaries. I'm not sure about things like these!
Anyways, at this point, I'm both a little embarassed and annoyed enough to want to cancel the date. And I know now to let the next guy know I'm not a big texter so this doesn't happen again.
Can I get some feedback about this situation?