I'm an depressed employee in what I think could be defined as a toxic work environment. Another opportunity is popping up elsewhere - why does it feel so hard to jump ship?
was me. I've become marginally better, but still am doing pretty poorly work output-wise. Also, I've had additional illnesses and health problems come up besides the aforementioned, and have had to take a lot of time off, so that's no help either.
Even in the midst of this depression I seemed to have impressed? charmed? a supervisor/boss in a different part of the org. during an casual meeting/interview, to the point that it looks like I will have an offer from them soon (in the same very large org., but in a very different branch). My friend works with this person sometimes, their offices are physically nearby, and my friend helped set up the chat. The boss seems like a good one. It's a promotion. Yay, right? But I'm still not sure, and I'm really stressed out. I just can't figure out why.
I am worried that I can't take on the increased responsibilities like being a supervisor to others.The new work would be more technical, and high profile. I'm worried about screwing up and being like I am now (always late to work, space cadet-like, etc., as per last askme post) in front of my friend and other people I respect. Commute is further out in the suburbs, and makes public transport more difficult, but it's not horrendous and I do have a car.
Hypothetically my current office is a somewhat better fit to my interests subject-wise, but overall is an unhappy work environment where 80% of office talk is complaining about the boss, and the boss is unpredictable and can be really mean to people. Current boss has chewed me out a few times, but I feel like current boss is TRYING to be nicer to me. We still barely ever talk though. This current boss is hard to meet with (always is busy), and I think scares me. From my current coworkers' stories this current boss also does not take resignations well. (doesn't want to acknowledge the departing person, the coworkers are afraid to have any sort of goodbye celebration/acknowledgement, that kind of thing.)
So... what the heck? I should be excited, but I'm sad and scared. I guess I'm sad to be moving after less than a year, and I feel like I've made very little impact and have been very unproductive in my current role. New office has suggested they could take me on in as little as a month, so this is all moving so fast.
I guess maybe there's some comfort in staying put and hiding in my office all day, barely completing anything, like I am now. But part of me thinks that if I really enjoyed/wanted to be a slacker, then I wouldn't be so upset all the time about being one.
I don't know if that's enough to go on -- and my last post that i linked to above says a bit more. But if you've ever been in this weird situation and have thoughts or insights to share about trying to figure out why I'm sad and scared and stressed, your input is appreciated. Thank you.