How seriously should I take him?
June 7, 2012 1:20 PM Subscribe
How seriously should I take his repeated suggestions that I move to his town?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (16 answers total)
Background: I'm a recent graduate (23/F) and ready to relocate for my first real job! My particular field allows me to consider pretty much any major international city for a job, so I've been happily considering my options, and visiting a couple of cities to see for myself before I actually make the move.
The guy (26) in question is an acquaintance I've known for 3 years (we went to the same school), and right off the bat we were never just friends because we flirted and made out 2 months into knowing each other, right before he moved out of town for a job. Since the move though, we have been keeping in touch and the nature of our correspondence has always been flirtatious. Anyway, 3 months ago we were IMing when he found that I was looking into places to relocate to, and since then had been encouraging that I consider the city he's in. He even went as far as offering to put a good word in for me at his office, which I was interested in (we have the same profession). Up until that point I had dismissed our conversations as fun flirty banter (since he was famous for being quite the sexual animal back in college), but the potential of working in a fun town with relatively good job prospect, a good solid group of people I already know AND the possibility of hooking up with him got my attention. So recently I flew over to visit and stayed with him for a week to see the city for myself, and...yep you guessed it, it was a even better time than I had expected!
He showed me around his neighborhood, made me brunch, and we hung out with his best friends. On days when he was at work, I would get texts from him making sure that I was okay when I was alone (rest of the time I was either with friends or on casual dates with a couple of male acquaintances). We then would meet later in the day and have dinner, go out for drinks, and finally snuggle in bed, watch TV and have (amazing) sex. We would talk about our families, dreams, all the things you talk about when it's just going well. We had such a good time that he actually said that he wish we got to spend more time together when we first met (back in 3 years ago). On the last two nights, he even held my hand as we walked back to his place. And did i mention that he was still mentioning that I should move the whole time?
Now I'm back, still warm and fuzzy from the sight of him staring back at my cab as it took off for the airport. I think I actually want to move to his city, and am also enamored with him especially having gotten to know him better as a person. I feel very encouraged by his suggestion that I move, am enamored by and want to take it (and everything else that he did/said) as a sign that he's into me as more than just what we are right now.
So the question is, should I just go for it and move to his city (given that I get a job offer, which is likely)? Is it legitimate that he is part of the reason for it? I must make it clear that while I'm completely drowning in limerence right now that even if it doesn't work out between us, I would still be happy to be in the new town because I already have friends/casual dates/(by then) a job there. And importantly, how should I approach us? Should I bring up the subject with him at all? Or let it develop when I actually am in the city first (for fear of making things so serious so fast)?
Thank you all in advance!