My Best Friend's Divorce Includes Me
June 7, 2012 7:29 AM Subscribe
My best friend is getting a divorce. She won't talk to me for unknown reasons. I think we're done being best friends. Help me rationalize and cope.
posted by anonymous to human relations (29 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My best friend (Tina) and her husband (Larry) have been very close family friends for about the last decade. They're so much like family - we have spent holidays together, vacationed together, our kids are close friends, backyard bbqs, etc. Tina, in particular, has been my best friend.
In January, Tina lost her mind and decided to have an affair on Larry. Larry was the one that came to me for support. Of course I heard him out and was as supportive as possible - I was very clear that I didn't want to take sides - I love them both. The whole situation has escalated into a divorce... Larry asked me for money to help him move out and I refused - underscoring the fact that I couldn't take sides. I reached out to Tina several times early on and never heard anything from her. Larry tells me that she's certain I'm going to judge her for her affair and that I'm probably on Larry's side anyway. I've emailed heart-felt messages telling her that I know she's going through a hard time and that I'm here for her if she needs me and that I love her, etc, etc. No response.
Tina has been off the grid since January. I haven't seen or spoken to her since I initially heard about the affair and the divorce from Larry. The whole thing is getting uglier and uglier (according to Larry)... restraining orders and police involved. I'm staying out of it and have recently started avoiding Larry.
I'm worried about my friend. I'm getting the vibe that she doesn't want to be my friend any more because she's getting a divorce. This is unsettling and difficult for me to rationalize. I'm trying to figure out what I've done wrong and/or what I could do to help the situation and get my friend back.
Added complication - Tina owes me $400. I get a distinct feeling that Tina feels like she's not going to have to pay this since she's starting a new life that I'm not a part of. I'm not gonna get my $400 and I should just write this off, right?