I was super shy as a kid and when I went to college, pretty much challenged myself to get over it. Check out this popular comment
of mine to see the details of that.
So I went through the last 12 years or so feeling pretty sure that I'd kicked the shyness. I'd consider myself extroverted and I like to talk to new people. I'm not the loudest person in a room, but I'm far from a wallflower. I add new friends to my circle every few months ago, mostly through work or meeting friends of friends socially.
However, I've gotten some feedback lately that some people thought I was shy when I first met them, just a body language thing they said. Also, someone who knew me way back when I was a kid made a comment on Facebook that I'm still shy. I said I didn't think I was -- she said I am still shy.
In that particular case, I don't always consider that person well meaning, like I would others who might have said their first impression is that I'm shy. She might mean well, but we have such a long history with lots of sisterly fighting and plus, she remembered me as a shy kid (well we were both shy kids) and hasn't shaken that.
Anyway, it bothers me that I might still somehow come across as shy and have had no idea all this time, whether it's to people who've known me well or new impressions. How can I figure this out? I know it's hard to tell without knowing me in person but what characteristics do shy people put across that they may not realize?
I'm mostly interested in help with this because I think it might be hurting me career wise or with dating, and also because i might be keeping people from getting to know me closely. I don't need help making new friends, I'm ok with that!