Help me get rid of the princess complex
June 4, 2012 12:16 PM Subscribe
I have no idea how to be independent. I’m in my early twenties, working and living in a big metropolitan city, finally in my own apartment with roommates but I’m very reliant on my parents to get by. I was also very reliant on my ex-boyfriend, whom I still love dearly, to take care of things for me and I want to change that now that I’m single.
posted by themaskedwonder to Health & Fitness (49 answers total) 24 users marked this as a favorite
My parents have been helping me pay for my car, phone, and random necessities since I started living on my own (about 2 months ago). The bad part is that I could probably pay for these things myself if I could stick to a budget, but I am very bad with money and have a lot of student loans/a bit of credit card debt to pay off. When I was with him, my boyfriend was basically taking care of my car/computer troubles. I’ve since realized that part of the reason I was attracted to him was because he was competent at so many “adult” things and was a big proponent of self-learning, which I have never had the discipline for.
I had/have very low-self esteem and am trying to stake it out on my own so that I become confident in knowing I can take care of myself without the help of a boyfriend or parents. (By the way, the breakup was amicable – I initiated it because I realized couldn’t be functional in a relationship without knowing how to love/take care of myself.)
Relevant data: I’m ADHD and bipolar, which doesn’t help things. Currently being treated with medication and searching for a new therapist in the city.
Some ideas I have are:
- Make and stick to a budget/get myself financially comfortable
- Learning how to cook (got Bittman’s “How to Cook Everything” and some starter groceries)
- Learning about car maintenance – enough to not get scammed by a mechanic
- Learning how to shoot a gun
- Learning emergency preparedness (planning on taking some classes on this)
- Getting CPR certified
- Making an emergency kit for my house and car
- Learning how to sew/repair clothing
- Learning self-defense – items to carry in my purse, how to use a switchblade, etc.
- Becoming more technologically proficient – reading a good book about computers?
I realize this is a huge undertaking (and somewhat of a lifelong process). My list is a bit on the extreme side but I like it that way.
Do you all have any more ideas on what I can do to challenge myself to become more independent, strong, and knowledgeable? Or any tips that might make my above list easier to tackle?
The wilder, the better. Seriously. I'm half-aspiring toward gun-toting-leather-wearing-chick-surviving-the-zombie apocalypse level of independence/competence, even. (It's silly, but motivating.) Thank you!