I need advice on how to finish this master's thesis that is consuming me with guilt, anxiety and helplessness
I should be writing my thesis, like right now
, but something in me just can't. I was supposed to get 30 pages to my advisor a week ago, but I only have 10 of this chapter, 20 of the overall thing (70 ish pages total is the goal). There's just something stopping me, every time I sit down to work on it. I panic about it every second that I'm not writing, but when I finally try and work I get exhausted almost immediately, I feel like I'm in a test and can't think, my notes seem like total nonsense...I'm a mess. I saw the advice everyone gave RogerB here
, but I'm not being a perfectionist (though I have the same problem of being a habitual writing procrastinator), I just almost physically can't force myself to do it.
This is a really horrible open ended question, but I need help. I feel like I bit off more than I can chew as far as writing for my topic (a feminist interpretation of Immanuel Kant's ethics, using DeBeauvoir and Iriguray to analyze the metaphysics, if anyone's curious), but if asked to TALK about it, I can go for hours. The writing part is just glacially slow, and I'm really running out of time, since my defense is in 2 months. It's not possible to get an extension any more, I'm already graduating in summer and my department will be gone by next academic year (hooray for cuts in higher education). I should have been working more on it for the past 4 months, but it just kept getting pushed to the back burner, between other school work and teaching. Beating myself up over past procrastination has been my favorite activity for the past week or two, and I need to stop that since it isn't helping me.
My committee is generally disinterested and under educated about my topic in general, but they're the best I got since my Kant specialist was denied tenure last semester, and after all that he totally checked out. I can't talk to anyone about it in specific detail because it's so goddamn specialized. I need general writing help, general advice on how to overcome my anxiety about writing that is preventing me from writing, and any other advice about thesis writing that might be helpful. I'm so stuck and it's eating me alive.
Memail me if you'd like to see the google doc of what I've got so far, I guess.