Am I fine? Is the doc a quack? Is this part of the process? Adult ADD content
posted by el_yucateco to Health & Fitness (37 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I'm 25, supporting myself on my own, and after years of feeling like I'm always coming up short and doing some research on ADD, I decided to see a psychiatrist. The earliest appointment was mid June, but prior to that they scheduled me to see a counselor first. He asked me to come back in the next week, and after last appointment he wants to see me once more before my actual psych appointment. Also this is through a reputable clinic in USA, and I have insurance so only paying co-pays.
In the initial introduction discussion, I discussed with him how I always find myself just barely meeting work deadlines, always being late for everything, not being able to remember things, getting "planning anxiety" for any plans made more than 2 hours before the event, having lofty personal goals for myself that I can never seem to reach (or even get on track for reaching), and the fact that I fill my personal life with numerous tasks and hobbies which I never follow through on or complete. He also gave me a questionaire to fill out, and at the end of the session he said I seemed to show alot of symptoms of adult ADD and that he'd like to see me once more before my psych eval. Ok, fine by me.
2nd session, I was admittedly underslept and alittle irritated the whole day... he dug into alittle more detail regarding why I felt the symptoms I did and why I was seeking treatment. In my explanation of my symptoms, each one he sort of talked through rationally and how I could break tasks into manageable parts or look at things with a realistic perspective (like realizing it would only take 20 minutes to open my mail and respond to letters/pay bills rather than letting the mail pile up like an elephant in the room.) With each explanation, he asked if it made sense to me and sure, put that way verbally, it makes sense. But put into practice, totally different story. Also he became very critical (so it seemed to me) after I answered whether or not I drink... I'm 25, have an active social life, and guess what all my ~25 year old friends drink regularly, myself included. Asked how often, I honestly answered probably 4 nights a week, and on how much, I honestly answered 3-6 if its a weekday, and 6-12 on a weekend. I felt like after I said this, it invalidated any of my previous claims... his tone changed, focused on the alcohol like I had a "problem", and all of a sudden he started minimalizing my symptoms as "part of growing up" or "problems every adult faces."
Now prior to seeing him, I did a month sober, just as a personal experiment. It was part of why I moved forward seeking treatment (thinking if I saw a personality change while not drinking, then maybe I did have a drinking problem, however I had no real issue or social pressure to drink in that span of time.... I was bored at times, and realized hanging out with drunk people while your sober is way less fun, but I endured with no real issue. I finished up sober month and started socially drinking again.
The last appointment being a month before the psych appointment, he advised I stop drinking entirely leading up to the psych eval. Said the psychiatrist wouldn't take me seriously / treat me if she knew I was a social (I really just want to say "normal") drinker. I went out twice since then, but I think I'm gonna actually cut it out (as I really don't care) and just follow his advice. But whats the deal? He insisted he wanted to see me once more before my psychiatrist appointment... I ended our last discussion by asking if he had any advice for me, or if I should be doing anything special or monitoring anything, and he said no. So I have no idea what the topic of discussion will be next time I'm in, but I have the feeling he's see-sawing between either A.) I'm a textbook case and fit all of the symptoms of a fairly well studied condition or B.) I'm lazy and drink too much and am just seeking meds. Am I seeking meds? He asked whether I'd prefer to do regular talk therapy or take medication... the whole point of this is I feel like theres not enough hours in a day to get things done, so of course I stated this and said I don't want to waste time talking to someone every week, I'd rather "fix it" with a pill. But I want to improve my quality of life, I'm really not just trying to get high, which from what I read these meds don't do anyway.
So whats the deal?? He's insisting on another (pointless if you ask me) appointment, 1 week before my psychiatrist appointment. I know he'll be advising the psych to my background as its the same office. Reading about others' experiences in mental health often sound like pill roulette: "try this and see how you feel in a week. oh, didnt work? try this one then" but here he's like trying to figure out if I even have a problem or just need to buck up, even though any of his little tests and crap say that I fit his criteria. Maybe I'm reading into this too much?
I'm going to the appointment next week, but my question to MeFi is whether I'm wasting my time here or if this seems like a normal evaluation. I mentioned bouts of depression... they were brought on by outside variables, yet he dwelled really hard on them... I tried to stress that overall, I'm a happy person. But I had to hold my tongue last time to not question his bullshit. The standard MeFi answer to every question is always "get therapy", but how does it work????
Note: maybe its my perspective. Since theres no physical evidence or black and white diagnosis, I know his diagnosis is based purely on my feedback, so I'm probably subconsciously trying to convince him I have a problem. But on the other hand, my life often feels in shambles, and Yes it IS easier to just go have a half-dozen whiskey cokes with my friends who are prodding me to come out than clean my apartment or finish a project I started, but its not so much that I want to drink, just that I don't want to "work", which is how my brain equates anything-I-dont-want-to-do even if that thing is a means to an end I want to reach.