Fun Party Ideas for a Scott?

May 31, 2012 7:09 AM

Help me throw a employee of the month party for a Scott.

I'm in the USA. We have a first generation Scottish gentleman working for us that made employee of the month - well deserved. Would like to throw him an Americanize Scottish party (How Americans perceive Scotts) that's fun, unique, and rated G to PG. We work in IT if that matters.

Some ideas thus far:
- Have tartans everywhere
- Have slideshow of famous Scotts (Sean Connery, Fat Bastard…etc)
- He hates all Scottish food, but was thinking we could make fake Scottish food like Chocolate Pudding but label it “Scottish blood pudding” …etc
- Play some well known American Scottish music (but I don't know of any)

um.... yeah do you have other ideas? Other suggestions names, music, food?

posted by bleucube to work & money (39 answers total)

If you make any signs up, then be aware that they are Scots (short for Scotsman), not Scotts.
posted by Brockles at 7:11 AM on May 31, 2012 [12 favorites]

scotch eggs are great
posted by parmanparman at 7:14 AM on May 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Ah thanks for pointing that out. Hope I did not offend anyone here. I think we should use Scotts to prove the point we don't know anything. :)
posted by bleucube at 7:18 AM on May 31, 2012

Everyone needs to do horrible Sean Connery accents all day long. It will drive him mad.
posted by jabes at 7:19 AM on May 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Just serve Irn Bru and Tunnock's, that's all them lot eat.
posted by Jehan at 7:19 AM on May 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hmm, gut check- are you sure the guy would be down with a "let's stereotype your homeland" party theme? You obviously know the guy better than me, but I think you're walking a fine line here.

That said, if he's ok with that kind of humor, I'd throw the occasional Irish thing in there, because most American's can't tell the difference.
posted by mkultra at 7:21 AM on May 31, 2012 [8 favorites]

You should do a 100% Irish theme and label it "Scott." That would drive him mad!
posted by cranberrymonger at 7:23 AM on May 31, 2012 [8 favorites]

Scrooge McDuck will have to be involved somehow.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:24 AM on May 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

@mkultra
He's totally down with it. We all live on this type of humor, it makes living in cube hell bearable.
posted by bleucube at 7:27 AM on May 31, 2012 [2 favorites]

Based on your typo and the "not really getting it" theme, I think you should have pictures of famous people/characters named Scott interspersed with actual Scots. Scott Baio, Scottie Pippen, Scott Pilgrim, etc.

Also, get lots of rolls of Scotch tape to use as decoration.

(Also, "Scott" is one of those words that looks/sounds really weird after a while and maybe someone should riff on that.)
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:30 AM on May 31, 2012 [14 favorites]

Change all signs in the office to Welsh in honor of Scotts day.
posted by zippy at 7:31 AM on May 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

I can't envision exactly what this party will look like, but please - let it involve Mel Gibson and the historical atrocity that is Braveheart.

And The Proclaimer's "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" on repeat.
posted by pecanpies at 7:32 AM on May 31, 2012 [5 favorites]

Oh, and some of these.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:33 AM on May 31, 2012

Also, if you use any actual Scottish content, the only thing allowed is a life-size poster of Sean Connery, on the beach and wearing a red diaper, from Zardoz..
posted by zippy at 7:33 AM on May 31, 2012 [3 favorites]

And a giant banner proclaiming, "Erin go bragh!"
posted by pecanpies at 7:33 AM on May 31, 2012

Get some whisky in. Have a 'catch the haggis' competition. Make a haggis-pinata and fill it with Scottish candy and sweets. Recite some Scottish poetry/fiction (Burns, Walter Scott, Tom Leonard, Irvine Welsh). Put highland dancing music on. Get people to put on their best Scottish accent. Have Braveheart on repeat (or the battle scenes where the Scottish win at least!). Do a mini-highland games with caber tossing etc.
posted by Scottie_Bob at 7:40 AM on May 31, 2012

There should be a solemn presentation (PowerPoint obviously) praising the great accomplishments of the Scottish people.

Like Scotch Tape.

And Scotchgard.

And the Scotch Bonnet.
posted by Naberius at 7:43 AM on May 31, 2012 [3 favorites]

Being from Canada, my view of Scotland and the Scots is probably pretty different from that of Americans, but here are my suggestions:

For Scottish Music:
Any fiddling from Cape Breton - Natalie McMaster, Ashley MacIsaac
Cringe-inducing scottish country dance music - Stan Hamilton and his Flying Scotsmen
Pop and Rock music: Glass Tiger, Rod Stewart, The Proclaimers, Texas
Bagpies Electronica: Martyn Bennett (he's awesome)

Come to think of it, bagpipes should feature somewhere in your celebrations, even if it's a contest to see if anyone can make a sound other than a dying goose on them.

Instead of face-painting, do woad-painting (the blue warpaint from Braveheart)

Can you do an IT-themed Highland Games? Instead of tossing a caber, toss a bale of cables or something?

There should be a toast to a haggis-like object. Make sure there's a dagger to stab it dead with. This gives you the excuse to break out the Scotch, if that's something you can do in your office.
posted by LN at 7:45 AM on May 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Lots of Scotty from Star Trek.
posted by Melismata at 7:50 AM on May 31, 2012 [3 favorites]

I can't begin to think of how many Irvine Welsh/Trainspotting references you could get in. Call him "Rent-boy" for the duration of the party. Wear anoraks. Make "Choose Life" shirts. That's all I have pre-coffee, but there's so much potential.
posted by mireille at 7:52 AM on May 31, 2012

You also need to sing Flower of Scotland and have some bag-pipe music. Here's the Red Hot Chilli Pipers combining the two of them - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS4QD4Kr7y4
posted by Scottie_Bob at 7:54 AM on May 31, 2012

The Scottish Terrier really did originate in Scotland, but I don't know how to include this into a party...
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:54 AM on May 31, 2012

If you make any signs up, then be aware that they are Scots (short for Scotsman), not Scotts.

This is exactly why you should refer to him as a "Scott" wherever possible. This will match his expectations of American perspectives on Scottish people and based on all the Scottish people I know, he will find it hilarious and tell his pals back home.

Scottish music that is not bagpipes: The Proclaimers, Fratellis, Biffy Clyro (Mon the Biff!)

Football gear of any Scottish football team other than Celtic or Rangers, just to be a bit more obscure (major points if you do know his team back home). Although it would be funny to have stuff from them both mixed up to enhance the clueless Americans bit.
Can you get a hold of any Buckfast?
Shortbread for snacking, or even better, make some tablet.
Reading of a Robert Burns poem (this is always painfully funny if you do not have a Scottish accent and are not familiar with the language of old Scots)
I don't know if they're in season and how easy it would be to get a hold of it, but thistles are their official flower and quite prevelantly used as decor.
If you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can't beat a good round of cèilidh dancing!
posted by like_neon at 7:56 AM on May 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Please create some kind of party decoration (a pyramid for the table?) out of Scott Tissue (i.e. toilet paper). Classy! I also love the idea of mixing photos of actual Scots with people named Scott (don't forget Scott Bakula, and... um... Scott Joplin? Scott Thompson, from Kids in the Hall? Probably best to not get obscure...).
posted by chowflap at 8:05 AM on May 31, 2012

Relevant comedy skit, for inspiration, of course.
posted by MuffinMan at 8:12 AM on May 31, 2012

Picture of Steve Carell as Michael Scott from "The Office", with a caption to the effect of "I'm proud to be a Scott."
posted by AkzidenzGrotesk at 8:13 AM on May 31, 2012

Be aware: he's a Scot, not a Scott (unless that's his name).
posted by Carol Anne at 8:46 AM on May 31, 2012

How about a nice, thick coat of bright blue woad for everyone's face, a la the climactic battle scene in Braveheart? That would be awesome

Play some quiet (hah!) bagpipe music in the background that everyone agrees not to mention. Or maybe the soundtrack to the Ewan McGregor vehicle "Moulin Rouge."

Solemnly present him with a copy of Craig Ferguson's recent autobiography, which ends with Ferguson proud as punch to become an American citizen. When you present it, suggest it as a model for his own life [deliberately ignoring his actual, current American citizenship].

Hang a framed picture of Andrew Carnegie someplace in the room.

Give him a pair of swim trunks in honor of John Paul Jones, father of the United States Navy. (All past & present sailors must then stand and sing the Navy Hymn.)

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" as the party ends.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:15 AM on May 31, 2012

Deep-fried Mars bars.
posted by scruss at 9:30 AM on May 31, 2012

I'm not sure how, but Craig Ferguson should factor in here. Perhaps download some of his awesome videos with the puppets?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:34 AM on May 31, 2012

Have everyone work lines from "Braveheart" into conversation with him, especially Mel Gibson's bit where he tells his girlfriend "I luv ye, allllways hev" and of course "Freeeeeeeeeedom!!" at every possible opportunity.
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:46 AM on May 31, 2012

Hie thee to the nearest weedy lot and gather some thistle for floral decoration. It won't be Scotch Thistle, but it's the thought that counts. And, you know, free decorations.
posted by faineant at 10:53 AM on May 31, 2012

Munchy boxes!
posted by dowcrag at 11:08 AM on May 31, 2012

Fantastic ideas!!! Going to be the best "Scott's" party ever.
posted by bleucube at 11:27 AM on May 31, 2012

You could decorate the office with lots of pictures of the Duke of Edinburgh.
posted by iviken at 11:35 AM on May 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Recreate Crawford MacKenzie's contest entry in The Big Tease.
posted by brujita at 11:56 AM on May 31, 2012

You can easily find The Flower of Scotland. Learn it, and sing it. See also, Scotland the Brave. It would be easy to make the saltire and hang it. Cake? Decorate it with Scotland's Royal Standard. You must have lots and lots of Bagpipe music. Your library will likely have some. Read a Robbie Burns poem, or, better yet, make up a tribute to him in the style of Burns, and present it as a lost poem, just rediscovered.

I can't understand the beginning of this article on Scots dialect; maybe you can? But, don't let that stop you. Make up lots of fake, nonsensical Scot sayings. By Thunder, By Jove, Merciful St. Andrew, save us all, As Robbie Burns(Sean Connery) would say:, Put a thistle in it, will ye? etc. Try some Scotticisms, esp. Hoots mon. In fact, do your best to work Hoots mon into every sentence. Even More Scots Dialect. and more, plus proverbs. Call everyone Laddie or Lass, say things are Braw or Bonnie, preface sentences with Aye, the other team is Shite, anything small is Wee, etc.

Make some beef stew, or shepherd's pie, cover with pie crust, and call it haggis. Bring it in with great ceremony, and bagpipe music, as the haggis supposedly is "piped in" (bagpipes) at a grand dinner. If anybody has thistles in their yard, wear them as boutonnieres, or put them in a vase.

Scotland is known for golf, rugby, and fishing. Make of this what you will.

We demand a full report of the event, with pictures.
posted by theora55 at 3:15 PM on May 31, 2012

You have to bring the Loch Ness monster into this somehow.
posted by Sukey Says at 5:30 PM on May 31, 2012 [2 favorites]

Please print out some pictures (colouring pages? With crayons) of Oor Wullie and The Broons. (Google will provide lots of images and explanations -- study the dialect?)
posted by kmennie at 6:54 PM on May 31, 2012